Office Memo - A Satire

OFFICE MEMO

To All Staff of the Company

The Company acknowledges that with its rich past history of establishment, great business success, sound well-being in its financial standing and excellent rapport with business partners & clients, the staff had tirelessly made this Company a great success.

Thereby, the Company would be rewarding all Staffs that had been an integral part of the business success, general well being of this Company and for sacrificial great efforts by soaring into oblivion heights of success for this Company.

The rewards are as follows according to the years of services :

30 years of service and below :   Keju Island Trip 

Remarks:  Don’t be mistaken for Jeju Island because it is not. Nevertheless, the trip will be an exciting one while there will be free flow of varying types of cheese for your pleasure. This is line with our Company vision of “ Who Moved The Bloody Cheese” success story. You have made it thus far and you are certainly at the top of the food chain and you have been the Rat of The Esteemed Ratpack, a great honour given to any employee since 2020 is indeed the Rat Year. 

25 years of service and below :    Usahla Sibuk Island Trip

Remarks :   Again, don’t be mistaken for Osaka because it is not. This is a quaint island at the back of the office whereby one would be able to relax and see what great success contribution had been made over the Company over the years. Food and drinks are aplenty including free flow of liquor for you to drown your joy or sorrow in some of you. This is also the island trip to seek innovative and new ways to excite your sensors and contribute more to your climb to the Rat of the Esteemed Ratpack group of employees. New schemes and suicide mission operations will be revealed to the group for better understanding and better execution. 

20 years of service and below :    Pulau Jerejak Island Trip

The Company felt that for those in 20 years service, the tendency to take a softer and relaxing stand at work had been looked into. A trip to Pulau Jerejak will illuminate your sensors to work harder and contribute your experiences at a greater height. Should you have plans to swindle or commit CBT over the next few years, this is a gentle reminder of what it used to be in those days but this is a beautiful island getaway. Breakfast and lunch would be provided indefinitely. However, fishing rod, hook,line and cooking utensils would be provided for you to catch your dinner. It is truly an amazing and exciting adventure that awaits you! However, should you go missing without a trace or whatsoever, it is NOT the responsibility of the Company. A Disclaimer Form would be provided for you to agree upon.  

15years of service and below :    Pulau Carey Island Trip

Wonderful time of seafood and bird watching activities had been planned. Some of you had been taking your annual leave for nature expedition and some have not taken leave for years, well, the Company felt that this is the best reward ever so that you’ll come back refreshed and energetic! Please eat to your heart’s contents because there won’t be any other dinner celebration like this one for the next 10 years.

10 years of service and below :    Pulau Besar Island Trip

This idyllic island had been the perfect spiritual and resting placing for those of you who had worked tirelessly but couldn’t climb up the Management ladder. With this trip in place, you could reflect on what had gone wrong on your plans and contemplate what is your next career move in climbing up the ladder of success. There would be a “buang sueh” cleansing session to clear off the bad juju and restore your faith in the ladder climb. Should you not choose the cleansing session, you could opt for the yoga and shout mantra session whereby you will be taught how to shout obscenities and at the same time feel at peace after your blaring. All this will benefit your shouting or arguments sessions with your fellow staff, superiors and Management. However, we expect your shouting of obscenities to be restrained and yet vocal for the better good of everyone in the Company. 

 5 years of service and below :    Pulau Ketam Island Trip

This trip to this beautiful destination will sort of show you where you are at the present moment in the Company. Despite the never ending “unpleasantries” being dumped, you have survived and roughed it through. The Company truly appreciates your hardwork and swimming in “difficulties” at times but you have survived in “good faith”. There will be a boating experience whereby you would be given fishing rod, hook, line and bait to catch fish and for you to contemplate your next move in the Company at about 12.00noon in the ocean. If and when you survive, you will be able to feast a sumptuous meal during dinner and supper. Liquor and beers are free flowing but limited to 5 bottle per person for your entire trip as the bigger budget had been given to your more experienced colleagues. This is also to ensure that you shall “thirst” and “hunger” for success in the coming years. Only plain water will be provided by the Company. Should you like to have coconut drinks, can drinks, bottle drinks and any other juices, you are required to pay accordingly as these are not included in your trip.

2 years of service and newly recruited staff :   Pulau Melaka Experience

You will be treated with a trip to Pulau Melaka for a sniff of where you could be if you work hard in the Company and do your work accordingly. There would be guided tours which included a learning trip to Portuguese Settlement whereby you will learn of the highly productive ways of survival in the sea and way of life, Money Lenders Lane whereby you will learn of survival skills in the financial world and a guided tour in Pulau Melaka itself. This will motivate your sensors to work even harder and to gain better success with our Company. Unfortunately food would not be provided , however, a RM 20.00 cash incentive would be given to cover your entrance fees requirement at the places you would be visiting. Please do not break items during trips, caused nuisance  nor charge anything to the Company as these expenses would be deducted from your salary without hesitation. We hope the trip experience would strengthen you to move alongside the Company and grow as a Family.

Addendum : 

30 years and above experience 

The Company and its directors had agreed wholeheartedly and with great compassion had agreed to award a beautified graveyard plot measuring approximately “ 4” X 6” plot together with flower and a “Thank You” card for those in the above category.  This is definitely a great incentive as graveyard plots had become expensive and competitive over the years. As the Company has always been competitive and reasonable all these years, the reward is both satisfying and apt for the moment. In event our financial standing improves over the years, this incentive would be upgraded with prayer items, prayer fruits and maintenance works. Your afterlife needs will be taken of indefinitely.

Lastly, let it be known that it is NOT the responsibility of the Company should you get hurt physically, mentally or socially, poisoned, killed or kidnapped in any way. Supervision would be minimal as you are adults. Should you be caught by the authorities for any sexual offences, soliciting of desirous woman/women/man/men, caught with your pants down with woman/women/man/men or any other undesirable elements of life, you are on your own and your services would be terminated upon the return from the trip. There will be no police bails, lawyer assistance nor any help given. This will be strictly adhered to. The Company view such offences grievous, harmful and detrimental to the reputation of the Company. Thereby, please sign the Disclaimer Form ( Form 4 ) , Self Inflicted Injury Form ( Form 44 ) , No Apologies – Sex Offences Form ( Form 67 ) and Non-Responsibility Form ( Form 114 ) prior to your respective trips.  

May you have a joyous, prosperous and fruitful trip with our Company. Your dying or death are not our concern but we will try and take all reasonable  precaution, steps and due care to make it bearable for you.

Looking forward to have you for our trip !  Wishing you a prosperous career in our Company.

 Ban Ban See Chin Kan Cheong

Human Resource Manager Admin. Executive

Kadang-Kadang  Huat Sdn.Bhd.

(subsidiary of Takla Lugi Resources Bhd )

Chin Chia Huat

Chief Executive Officer

Kadang-Kadang  Huat Sdn.Bhd.

(subsidiary of Takla Lugi Resources Bhd )

*This is a computer generated letter. No signature is required *

A viewpoint.....

In all my growing up years, I’ve always have a certain level of respect for full time workers of places of worship. My historical religious background from young was a Buddhist but I have since been the first generation Christian in my family but that doesn’t take away the respect I have for full time worker of these religious places. I know that these people have dedicated their lives in their own religious beliefs and that is truly amazing. I must admit that some of them had displayed exceptional dedication to their religious cause and it is truly commendable. I guess, when it is someone else sons or daughters dedicating their lives to God, it is fine, right? But how do you feel and deal with that feeling when it is your own sons or daughters going into full time ministry? That is the question, isn’t it? It does prick you, doesn’t it? 

I must admit in all honesty, I was floored. I know that it is an honour to serve GOD as His co-worker in the faith but somehow that nagging feeling bugs you if your son/daughter would be alright or worse still, has he/she made the right decision. I guess, that is the humanistic feeling and biological response of any parent, right?  GOD does work in a mysterious way! I tell you, there is a never ending twist and turn from GOD in every facet of your life but they are ALL good, really. 

I remember when I was first informed of my son’s decision to go full time working in church, I was like “ Whoa, dude. For real?” All sorts of questions got jammed up in that brain of mine back then. No, it is not that the Unifi clogged up or the Streamyx lagged but mainly because the kueh teow up there in the head got shorted/fried somehow! Not wanting to cause a chaotic line of questioning and pandemonium outbreak of emotions from the womenfolk in my family, I guess, I did what most dad would do – break it gently to the family or is it the other way round? Hmmmnnn….. I wonder. I guess, it is always hard when “concerned” relatives would ask “innocent “ questions like “what is your eldest doing these days,ah?” “ Can survive ( financially) being a full time church worker, kah?” or even “Good meh?”. Yeah, there are days I do struggle with the answers as the womenfolk in my household grasped the matter better than I did, actually. However, questions from relatives and friends alike can be quite daunting, really.

I guess, when I indiscrimately and courageously tell my relatives what my son is doing, their facial expression says it all, man!  It is funny though, now that I think of it, how their facial expressions changes as fast as their cheeks seemed to lose some colours or facial expressions got a lot more distorted that I thought they usually are or their blushes says it all. It was as though the conscious cheek was acknowledging the GOD we serve and it ain’t winter here in Malaysia! Never mind, honestly, somehow, I wasn’t embarrassed or put off by such questions but it is hard to explain to people who has a “touch n go” situation with GOD. Meaning, they can call onto God when they need Him desperately and then goes into complete hibernating when they don’t need Him after the storm had subsided. I have learnt ever since that you can only plan the future but eventually, it is God who decides and determines what’s going to be done with your life. 

It was only recently that during a dinner function, a friend of mine from JB asked me about my eldest. So, when I told him of my eldest attachment to a church, he patted me on the back enthusiastically and congratulated me. I did not know if he was mocking me or genuinely happy for me then!  However, when he saw my expression, he asked me to cheer up and he kept telling me that how God would provide. I did not know what he was talking about but he took me aside and said ,” Look, do not worry, brother! God would provide and He would take care of things for you and your household.” He then went on to tell me about his sister’s decision to go full time in God’s ministry despite passing out with flying colors as a doctor in her overseas studies. He laughingly told me as an encouragement that his father did not speak and refused to speak to his sister for 3 full years! He then shared how his sister’s life transformed as a missionary and later as a full time church administrator. Yeah, God has a plan for everyone. I was encouraged by that …..a lot, really. 

I guess, as an old geezer and as old as I am, I needed to hear that and needed that dose of encouragement injection from  time to time. I went back home after the dinner function digesting the nuggets of wisdom and the miraculous happenings that had happened to those who put their trust and faith in the Lord. I am so thankful for that pep talk, actually. It made me realized a lot of matters in regards to trusting our Lord with our plans. Yes, HIS plans , not yours,ok? 

I must admit, there was a time, I also struggled as much as any other parent would but somehow, I was comforted as I grew older and mysteriously comforted by the hands of God at my heart.  Yunno, in the early days, I would confront God in my quiet time and asked “ Why, Lord? “ and then went on to ramble, rave and lunacy pleadings upon the sacrifices made, the ageing process of me, the financial effort in it all, my travel plans in old age, my retirement plans etc etc…..but somehow, the answer I got was “ Why not? Didn’t you dedicate him, your first born, to me and ask of me to do as I will?”. I was floored that day, I remembered and I rendered my heart to God but not before the long protest notes again and so on. (It’s still on-going, actually! Hahahahahahaaaaaa…… )  It was really tough at first and I still do have questions but probably I would store them away and ask Him when I get up there someday…..when I get there!  

What I want to say is that church workers are human beings too. They are a special breed of foot soldiers for God but they also do have their limitations ( physically, mentally and socially ) too. I often hear and see church workers going all out of their way to get things done and sometimes, it is heart breaking to see what they have to go through. I guess, their passion and enthusiasm  to serve and to avoid being criticized as “ what type of church worker! “ made them susceptible to doing everything that they are being asked to do even when it is generally not in their scope of work or expertise. It is like they are not able to say “ No” in fear of offending others and burning themselves out in the process under the license of “doing God’s work/serving the people” or they are the “one stop help centre” for everything and everyone. 

To me, that is a saddening but truthful fact. Church workers spouses, partners and even family members often crave for more time to be together or even doing things together. I am agreeable that working in church or any other religious establishment is not an occupation.  If it was, then all of us would be in trouble. It does take a very special passion, commitment, the calling and lots of love to do it but sometimes, they are, more often than not, a rather neglected lot in a way. I do believe that these church workers needed to be acknowledged , appreciated and we should learn to lower our expectations when dealing with them because they are really just human too. That’s the problem when we see them as “super” beings or we expect a whole lot of things or work from them when they, too, will breakdown due to tiredness, fatigue and even suffer emotionally and spiritually. 

However, in saying all this, I am all for working alongside God as a co-worker thing is equally important. I believe, the older need to shepherd the younger and open communication are vital in God’s ministry today. There has to be mutual respect while goodwill must prevail in every aspect of our lives. As always, there are things one can do while there are things one cannot do. So, as the pastors and church workers takes care of our needs, wants and demands, who takes care of them? If we are going to push it back to GOD, I believe, we do need to open up our horizons more or have our inflated big head examined, be wiser and be considerate. Yes, what I am saying is that, we , the general congregation are sometimes the reason for the pain, suffering and burnt out feeling of our church workers including pastors too at times.. We need to be considerate and be understanding in many ways lest we will lead our church workers to the threshold of exhaustion or simply push them off the cliff. 

I just asked of the people to not ask too much nor expect too much of the church workers. Give them a break because sometimes, the responsibilities they have to bear and carry are so heavy on their small shoulders. Their voices, aspirations, thoughts and even their grouses are often suppressed for the “greater good of the people” and  their hardwork and dedication are mainly overlooked or considered as mandatory or expected of them. Give them some space to breathe and to flourish in their own way through the tasks ahead of them. I believe, we do need to be aware so that our church workers would not burnt out or washed out. 

I am merely reminding us all that we are all just human being with our own limitations as GOD enables us. I know, I know, you don’t need to brandish your sharp parang and knives to remind me of what I am saying. The church workers are a special breed of people and “God would enable them “ but we really need to have that clear understanding of their limitations and etiquette of life as well.

I believe, striking a right balance in life is important. For a full time church worker, there is hardly time to get things done and so much to do with so limited time in hand. Thereby, it would be good if one takes a good look about meaningful living. You see, God can use it all in any situation in life. A trip, a conversation, an awkward scenario or even an unexpected occurrence could lead to one sharing of our faith. I guess, God is the arranger of that sort of opportunities. So, let us continue to be a blessing to one another, shall we?  

Cornerstone...

Today is Sunday and I usually look forward to Sunday as it will be church service, food, fellowship and then going back for a rest before facing another new week of work, headaches and managing people's expectation. Usually, I would look forward to service but somehow, today wasn't going to be that. I somehow wasn't really in the flight plan to face service today but boy! I was SO wrong. In fact, I am extremely glad that I went for church service today. I guess, GOD , Abba Father just knows how to pull a fast one on me and encouraged me along the way. 

Yes, I have had my share of rest for the month but yet there was something "missing" that I had felt. I could not pinpoint what that "missing" link was but yet I had this nagging feeling that something is going to happen. Well, I must be honest to admit that I had not been in the right spiritual mind and I am very conscious of it. Maybe I had been discouraged, buoyed and heavily burdened by the hard  months and some matters of the heart & mind. I must admit that I am troubled by a lot of matters in regards to our churches today. I am not afraid to hit out but I am also very aware that we sometimes need to take a step back and withold our tongue. Perhaps by taking a step back and witholding my tongue would be good  after all the tongue is the vilest part of our body! Hahahahahaaaaaaaa......the Bible says so, yunno! Ain't gonna doubt that!

Today as I sit at my seat, I saw a whole new perspective of events unveiled before my eyes. I know that it is not such a spectacular thing with blinding lights or extravagant confetti streams or some Hollywood style play of sounds and sight but enough to make my mind & heart to ponder.

I guess, I never saw what was coming in that Sunday service. It started with the praise and worship session with soft spoken & quiet, young father, Kelvin. There wasn’t any extravagant – plain, simple and adequate praise & worship. Meaningful and apt is what I would say. I guess, having the blessing of travelling much around this country of ours and attending services, I am glad there wasn’t any fanciful singing or “performance”, I would add. I guess, to me, even a worship leader who sings out of tune or even one who is as soft spoken as Kelvin are the ones I would look forward to as these worship leaders sang from the very depths of their hearts and with much conviction to bring you to the altar of GOD and enjoying His presence. That’s what’s right today. The setting was right today and I truly appreciate that tangible moments of peace flowing through the sanctuary. That is what I felt today and that perked me up a bit. Like I said earlier, enough of fanciful performances and let’s get serious with our lives. Sing your heart out for GOD, play the musical instruments not because it is your duty that day or even singing back up with all your heart. So, it started well today.

Today’s message is from Elder Wong Fook Meng. As always, the message is clear and present danger to the spiritual soul. I really meant the quip in a good way. What I meant in “clear and present danger to the spiritual soul” is simply for us to heed the call Fook Meng had made or else, we are as hopeless as the goats in the barns waiting to be slaughtered. The need to know the Will of God, the Walk with God and the Work with God are important salient points of his message. I guess, a message like that helped in “waking” you up from your morning slumber at the seat because the points are well illustrated and compacted. I guess, this was GOD’s way of layering His Will as the day unfolded.

The introduction of the core values of City Community Church are unfolded namely Connected to Christ, Committed to Community and Called to the City. I guess, many were scratching their heads or probably many had known about this and seemed nonchalant when it was announced. Maybe, many still had not understood the real meaning of these lines which will be the core values. Like many of them, I must admit, I, too, am rather clueless of what it was but my dumbness was quickly answered during the group discussion with lunch in church. Many people left at that time to do their own things in one way or another but there were others who stayed back to have lunch and did the discussion. My group consisted on 4 persons namely Fook Meng, Esther , Robert, Martini (Indonesian girl - she ran off after finishing her lunch! hahahahahahaaaa......) and myself. We started off by introducing ourselves and Fook Meng was our moderator. It was a good and honest sharing of thoughts and testimony. Food makes it interesting though but not so much as the fellowship and the thrown ideas of testimony and more faith nuggets.

That day, I finally understood the inner feeling, hopes, wishes and the steadfast faith of a woman who is losing her sight ( lost her sight, actually! ) and encountering total blindness with an open heart and much bravery. I thought she was very brave and her testimony as a young Christian earlier in her life and sharing the Goodness of GOD to her non-Christian colleagues were uplifting testimony of faith and definitely an encouragement for my soul. I am also in awe of a mother’s love in not allowing her family and children to be worried of her blindness condition. That touched me a lot. I am also encouraged that a former civil servant in his duties as a husband would pick up the courage to care for his blind wife and to learn to do cooking and other stuff around. Well, people would say that it is natural for a man to do that and so on but it is not an easy thing to do. To me, I can relate that anxiety and times of frustration the blind woman and the man would have felt in their own capacity as mother- father, husband-wife and man-woman capacity. I guess, as I sit back and listened to the testimonies, I am more convinced than ever  that the core value of Committed to the Community comes in prominently. These people could not have done it without the Connection with Christ. Here is where we play our role by giving support to people like these whom I am very sure needed a hand or two in some situations or even a listening ear to help ease their frustrations and inner inhibitions. I tell you, it is not easy for a person to lose his or her sight as from blindness onwards, you can only imagine yet never be able formulate images in reality anymore. What you have will always be memories of how you have remembered it. It is really difficult and agonizing indeed.

One interesting story which came up what our own very first experience of accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour. I guess, we were “fearless” then in our own ways and even Robert shared how he would deliver tracks door to door those times and spoke eloquently of the Lord in those times. As we reminisced our early days of acknowledging the Lord, Fook Meng threw a question to all of us that mystified us completely, “ So, what happen to that fire you all had?”. That was a heart stopper, I tell you but a very valid question indeed. There was just silence, smiles and even some distorted faces even from me. Somehow, we had no answer to that to that of a very simple question. That question pinned us hard at our hearts. Yeah! What happened to that fire, huh? I guess, when you are younger, you are more brash and at the braver front of things with nothing to lose but as you get older, more things needed your attention and you fall back, compromised and eventually gave in to social, economic and other pressures in life? That was what crossed my mind. I wouldn’t know if that was right or wrong. Perhaps, you should go figure it our yourselves too, right?

For me, at least, one half of that statement applies to me, really. I must admit that sometimes, I do find it frustrating till no end when you fight a cause only to be let down many times by indecisive leaders or even certain leadership directional change who backed down after external pressure or internal pressure. I guess, fear from repercussions from the authorities certainly play one part in making our scrotum shrink between our legs at times even though we know the promises of the Bible. So, be wise or be brave, they say, right?  Be wise - keep your mouth shut, do your work quietly without a murmur and shout at the top of the hill that we are being wise or be brave - to head towards isolation and nasi bungkus in some facilities somewhere where no one can ever see you or worse still, being crucified by your own kind of faith and people from other faith who are already baying for your life for being a Christian.

I want to remind everyone that the Christian faith is the way, the truth and the life as the Bible says it; that’s the quintessential essence of our faith. I guess, it’s just the people who profess it that comes under scrutiny and perverse it just like any other religion in this world. That’s my honest opinion. Bottomline, be wise and be brave accordingly, right?  Look, I have no intention to belittle anyone lest make anyone feel less worthy in any way. You live your life according to your relationship with GOD, okay? For me and my household, we will always worship GOD, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. By the way, I am proud to be a Christian eventhough I may not be a good one but I’ll most certainly die trying to be one. Sure, I have no excuse for being crude, rude or even rough at times but I really do not intend any malice. Just correction and a little understanding, I guess.     

I saw a church worker choking back tears when he spoke of the life of Mdm Yoges. Who? You may ask but enough to say that Yoges was just another human being that you and I may miss to acknowledge in our daily life routine of hectic, bustling, shifting and “quick quick” or numbing  world we live in today. We are flawed,man when compared to the compassion shown by Daniel, the church worker. As he unraveled his encounters and help extended to Mdm Yoges by the church and people in the church, I guess, there weren’t any dry eyes in the congregation that morning. It was easy for us to compliment him or to comfort him with our words but do we actually feel what he felt or it is just another insignificant human being that had passed away. Look, when I say such things, I meant it for myself too because I am not high and mighty or some snooty idiot though I can be an ass sometimes! That's for sure!

We take for granted at times that it is only natural for some church worker or some pastor to feel that way but in actual fact, it is the responsibility of ALL of us to ensure that the unfortunate, the needy, the widow and the fallen gets support, love and care to rise to their feet to build their lives. We also should be there to lend a helping hand for them to lay softly on their knees and acknowledge that very grace of GOD that they desperately needed. Throwing a fistful of ringgits and giving our lip services ain't gonna make it these days. We've gotta be serious in lending a helping hand, a listening ear and a heartfelt response. That is what is required these days.

I do have a pool of colleagues and I am starting with that pool of people. Sure, I ain't no angel when I am at work. I too am human with as many flaws as possible but I try to do a little goodness each day so that they can see the one behind me and above me. Like I said, I ain't the best example ever but I'll try my very best to fulfill what I have just learnt today.

Maybe, some good will come out of it.....what do you think?  Blessed thinking days ahead, my friends!