I am no extraordinary person ; just another dumb simple bloke at times and I am constantly reminded of my good fortune to be a child of God but sometimes I just could not help feeling that the wicked, the manipulative, the greedy, the evil and even the scheming ones gets away with murder while the good ones gets trampled, ridiculed, die early and sometimes, stripped of all dignity. I know, I am constantly reminded that Jesus Christ, our Lord, took all our iniquities and took over all our shames and yet stand victorious at the end without retaliation. Plus, what could be worst than that, right? Yeah, I must look at the bigger picture of God and the endurance He had for us and I do understand all that but it is just that I just could not grit my teeth and bear with it when truth should be spoken or something could be done over it. To me, a good is a good ; a bad is a bad. Straight and simple. There is simply no sugarcoating of things and trying to make it look good even when it is bad. We are so susceptible to such nonsense, aren't we? That is what that makes me angry, really.
I make no excuse that I have an explosive temper and I have this lack of restrain , both in words and in action, when it comes to people with manipulative ways. Believe me, I have done well with my temper scale after lots of "soul searching" and much talked down by family and friends. I have learnt over the years to tone down my vile tongue/temper and I just would not put my family in shame every time I lose my temper but it is so frustrating and hard whenever you just let things go from bad to worst. Maybe I am from the old school of thought era whereby a good dosage of hard facts and some talking down would do good. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but no harm in trying to be honest, right?
I am very respectful to elderly people but I will not allow elderly people to think that they can boss around with ridiculous theories about life, "how to lead your life" or I have "eaten more salt of life than you" mentality. If respect is earned by raising the voice or throwing a fit of tantrums/anger each time to win an argument or putting forward a point, then, to me, that is obviously, not respect. That is intimidation and succession of fear installation over the years. I find it ridiculous that some elderly people just won't listen to views no more. I find it ridiculous too when your lady/partner or friend has to nudge you at your rib cage to make you stop saying things even when they know what you say is correct and good. Even, I, in my donkey stubborness will still sit down and listen out to views and even apologised when I am wrong. There is no shame in being in humbleness or to put it simply, there is no wrong in listening to views. As we grow older and we all will grow old, brain matter will shrink lest the quick temper and the moronic thinking at times; eventually, some ways of getting attention and forcing your decision doesn't work anymore. Even if the forced decision is accepted, it is merely to entertain the ego of old and does not reflect the agreement of the listeners. Sound decision comes from amalgamation of good reasoning, general well-being/honest intentions and a humble heart. I want chide the elderly people who thinks that they can get away with everything just because their hair turned all white or grey. White or grey doesn't show maturity if one is too donkey or too manipulative in their own ways. It doesn't bring respect or love from their loved ones. It only brings disgust and disdain. Likewise, a humble heart and a considerate disposition plus shades of white or greying hair, helps to harmonise the blend of young and old; not make it worst for one's own selfish ends.
I also took a good look at myself and what had happened in my life. I am never proud of myself each time I explode in a fit of anger. It is as though I had become a different person. I have learned over the years to be patient and just swallow the brunt of things and listen to reasoning no matter how crap it could get, actually. If I don't do this, I am just being an ass. Every time I want to explode in anger, I am conscious to have to look around me and ensure that the people around me do not get the aftermath/brunt of my explosion. That is how I looked at myself these days. So, I am more conscious now.
As for death and dying itself, I want to assure you and say it out loud that I am NOT afraid to meet my Maker. I've said this so many times to friends and family too. To me, it is never a taboo because we will all die eventually and no one can have that elixir of life to live on forever and ever, Sure, it doesn't give us the licence to be reckless with our lives. Of course, stay healthy and be healthy but don't be a health freak or chase the trail of trying to live on forever and ever. Even fairytale stories has an ending- what more for wretched lives like ours. Only a fool would want to hang on to his/her life dearly.
This is my simplest confession - Every day is the day I live as though it is the last day of my life. To me, do good and shun evil. Simple tagline, simple livable structure. To me, why fear death? Why fear sufferings? Have we not have good days and bad days that we have gone through and have to go through whether we like it or not? We still survive though we are bruised, battered and wounded, right? Should we fear anything else? I believe that the greatest fear we should have is always the fear of God. The more you fear for your life, the more it will be taken from you. I say, you may not agree with me on this matter and I do genuinely respect your individual views but don't make it such a taboo that it becomes a nuisance or even a harrowing experience for others or even your own family members. Like I said, this is only my own representation of my life and one that I intend to live to the fullest each ticking......... seconds........ minutes....... and hours of the day.
I am very respectful to elderly people but I will not allow elderly people to think that they can boss around with ridiculous theories about life, "how to lead your life" or I have "eaten more salt of life than you" mentality. If respect is earned by raising the voice or throwing a fit of tantrums/anger each time to win an argument or putting forward a point, then, to me, that is obviously, not respect. That is intimidation and succession of fear installation over the years. I find it ridiculous that some elderly people just won't listen to views no more. I find it ridiculous too when your lady/partner or friend has to nudge you at your rib cage to make you stop saying things even when they know what you say is correct and good. Even, I, in my donkey stubborness will still sit down and listen out to views and even apologised when I am wrong. There is no shame in being in humbleness or to put it simply, there is no wrong in listening to views. As we grow older and we all will grow old, brain matter will shrink lest the quick temper and the moronic thinking at times; eventually, some ways of getting attention and forcing your decision doesn't work anymore. Even if the forced decision is accepted, it is merely to entertain the ego of old and does not reflect the agreement of the listeners. Sound decision comes from amalgamation of good reasoning, general well-being/honest intentions and a humble heart. I want chide the elderly people who thinks that they can get away with everything just because their hair turned all white or grey. White or grey doesn't show maturity if one is too donkey or too manipulative in their own ways. It doesn't bring respect or love from their loved ones. It only brings disgust and disdain. Likewise, a humble heart and a considerate disposition plus shades of white or greying hair, helps to harmonise the blend of young and old; not make it worst for one's own selfish ends.
I also took a good look at myself and what had happened in my life. I am never proud of myself each time I explode in a fit of anger. It is as though I had become a different person. I have learned over the years to be patient and just swallow the brunt of things and listen to reasoning no matter how crap it could get, actually. If I don't do this, I am just being an ass. Every time I want to explode in anger, I am conscious to have to look around me and ensure that the people around me do not get the aftermath/brunt of my explosion. That is how I looked at myself these days. So, I am more conscious now.
As for death and dying itself, I want to assure you and say it out loud that I am NOT afraid to meet my Maker. I've said this so many times to friends and family too. To me, it is never a taboo because we will all die eventually and no one can have that elixir of life to live on forever and ever, Sure, it doesn't give us the licence to be reckless with our lives. Of course, stay healthy and be healthy but don't be a health freak or chase the trail of trying to live on forever and ever. Even fairytale stories has an ending- what more for wretched lives like ours. Only a fool would want to hang on to his/her life dearly.
This is my simplest confession - Every day is the day I live as though it is the last day of my life. To me, do good and shun evil. Simple tagline, simple livable structure. To me, why fear death? Why fear sufferings? Have we not have good days and bad days that we have gone through and have to go through whether we like it or not? We still survive though we are bruised, battered and wounded, right? Should we fear anything else? I believe that the greatest fear we should have is always the fear of God. The more you fear for your life, the more it will be taken from you. I say, you may not agree with me on this matter and I do genuinely respect your individual views but don't make it such a taboo that it becomes a nuisance or even a harrowing experience for others or even your own family members. Like I said, this is only my own representation of my life and one that I intend to live to the fullest each ticking......... seconds........ minutes....... and hours of the day.
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