Malaysia, My Home.

Today, 16th September is Malaysia Day but somehow when I woke up this morning, I just don't feel like any other Malaysians celebrating this day. Instead, I felt sad inside of me knowing that my status as citizen of this country is always being questioned and put under scrutiny all the time. My mom is a Malaysian Chinese by birth, my dad is a Malaysian Chinese by birth and why do I get the stick for being a "pendatang" and now, a "penumpang"? Well, this so-called pendatang and penumpang had toiled blood, sweat and tears in this country which we had called home all our lives and I have never ever felt the need to oppress anyone about it. Even when unkindness, unfairness and even racial slur being thrown right into our faces, we had perservered and worked as hard as anyone else to earn an honest living and eke a living in this place we call home, Malaysia. 

Mind you, I have a legal NRIC card that says that I am Malaysian and I am damn proud to be one. I am also a Chinese and I am proud being one too. It doesn't give me the opportunity to oppress others and call them names and threatened with violence, oppressiveness and more unjust ways. It is the sick minded people with harrassment mentality that keep getting us divided as Malaysians. I guess, that is the only way how corrupt leaders can stay in power all the time. But there is always one divine power that will answer to this someday....the One from Above.

I am sad that each day, we fight a losing battle of people who would continue to use racial slur, racism, religious sentiment and even crate chaos & fear just to be in power today and gets away with such inciting ways. But we mustn't lose hope and we must continue to perservere and fight these corrupt ways.  When things go wrong in the country, the Chinese are blamed . The Christians are blamed. The Indians are blamed. Practically every race in Malaysia are blamed except the leaders themselves.  Unfortunately, I am a Chinese and a Christian as well. So, I feel the brunt of it and yet I asked the question that plaques my mind, "What have I done to deserve this treatment?" I am sad that each day we are all put under fear of violence erupting, fear of racial clashes and violence, fear of food high prices, fear of rising daily living cost etc.etc.  Are we going to stoop so low in moral and integrity so that we could stay in power rather than doing the right thing by cleaning up our own backyard of corrupt practises and immoral behaviour? Where have all the good and righteous men gone? As I looked at the happenings around the country today as the "reds" gathered ,  I asked the question of " Why are you so hell bent on creating such a divide between the people in Malaysia?". The placards says it all,actually. Have you no shame for saying the filthy words and ideas that passes through your lips? Does our religion teaches us to harm and kill? Wouldn't your hands be filled with innocent blood of the people if something happens? Wouldn't your soul be troubled with such bloodshed? What if your hands are running with the blood from the bodies of your family members? Wouldn't that be tragic for not just your family but the people as a whole who may be losing their innocent loved ones because some crazed leaders spewing and inciting hatred and bloodshed? I believe our leaders today have not that conscience but as rational Malaysians, we are well aware of this. Let us not get "trapped" in such evil play. When push comes to shove, our leaders will be the first ones on the plane out of the country while you and I will have to pick up the tragedies of our lives and our country.

Is the price for the loss of our loved ones confined to a pack of rice, a bottle of mineral water, a t-shirt and a RM 100 "donation" money? I have grown up with so many wonderful friends from the Malay, Chinese , Indians, Sikhs, Ibans, Dusun, Kadazans, Orang Asli, Portuguese and many other communities. I believed in living in harmony and no one is questioning about the rights of the Malay community at all.  The rights of the Malay community are already enshrined in the Federal Constitution and even as a young child, I have been made to understand that and I understood it well. So, why bring this up and stir so much hatred and pin the blaming to certain communities? This I could not understand except that I believed it is for the leaders own selfish end to stay in power and further corrupts the society and bankrupt the country of its resources by careless governing. 

Why not look into the missing millions and billions from the country kitty? Why not look into the RM 2.6billion "donations"? Why not look into the murder and missing prominent righteous people from our country? Why not look into the financial scandals in this country? Why not look into the millions of unpaid study loans given out? Why not look into the reason why flood areas did not get the allocated food and drinks? Why not look into the houses and aids that were promised during the floods but did not materialised or went missing? Why not look into scholarships given our to ministers and "kenalan" children rather than the deserving 10As or 9As students? Why not look into the wastages and corrupt practises that were highlighted by the Auditor General Report? Aren't these more pressing and important questions? 

When I was young, I recited these lines below with so much love, respect and with great pride because I believed in my heart that I am home with the multi-racial people I call Malaysians. I still believe in it very much. MALAYSIA, this is my  beloved country and my home. Please, do not let these selfish and corrupted people to rob all of us of the opportunity to live in harmony, respect and love.

KEPERCAYAAN KEPADA TUHAN,

KESETIAAN KEPADA RAJA DAN NEGARA,

KELUHURAN PERLEMBAGAAN,

KEDAULATAN UNDANG - UNDANG,

KESOPANAN DAN KESUSILAAN.

I still believe in those lines....very much. SELAMAT HARI MALAYSIA.........

50 is here!

Some people say that life starts at 40 and gets better when you reach 50. For years I have been in that 40s bracket until the number 4 fell off and replaced with the number 5 a few days ago. I guess, I have to expect that to happen as we often aged gracefully into the 50 bracket. Yes, I would like to say that I have embraced my 40's transition to the 50 transition with much dignity and grace. Yes too to the fact that being termed  as "Uncle" seemed inevitable and the greying of the hair seemed to be progressively on course to total whiteness soon enough. So, the question on everyone's lips and mind is "how did it go for you?".

Well, first of all, I must say that I am not heading to the 6'X4' plot any sooner while I am improving nicely medically though my sugar reading still raises the eyebrows of my beloved & concerned doctor, Dr.Jaswant. Thank you so much , doctor, for all the support, encouragement and deep concerned for the state of my health and for wanting me to get the best of health minus the ever growing pill list. Other than that, I am just fine. Occasionally, the concerned of fatty liver traces and the need to lower down the bad cholestrol readings seemed to be the stressing point of every tri-monthly check-up, I will do my best to overcome these concerns though I doubt it very much that I am gonna give it a miss to the roasted pork and char siew fare from the shop downstairs my office. ( It's staple diet lar , doc! Gotta have that to "oil" all the right parts of the body like car engine parts! hahahahhaaaaaaaaaa................. )

I realised too that I have "changed" for the past two years. I have taken a different outlook of my life and I am beginning to enjoy the little things of my life which I had taken for granted all these years. BTW, I have learnt to stand up and say "NO" when it matters! (Yippeeeee! Very important to be able to say "NO" as sometimes we are all just too nice and people take advantage of us, right?) I am a lot calmer now and happier, I hope. I am still stressed up as usual about work and so on ( who isn't , right?) but I guess, I've learnt that I can't satisfy everyone and anyone plus, I am really doing my best. I have learnt too that being happy makes things easier to digest even if it is a bad situation. I guess, positive thinking and less expectations have helped making thing easier for me for this 50 transition. 

Seeing my children grow up has also helped me realised that I have done my responsibility ( I may not have been good at what I do - first time father lar...but I learnt along the way ) and it is up to them to help themselves by choosing their own career paths, dreams, goals and life path. So , what is left for me is to just enjoy the little small pleasures in my life. Like they say, to wake up and smell the flowers in the garden and to grow old gracefully. Yes, I am contented that eventhough I may not be a millionaire or a billionaire ( still hoping to get some Arabs to donate generously to my retirement fund, yunno! ), I am happy with whatever little that I have. The word is I am thankful - THANKFUL to the Lord for extending the "contract of breath " to my life and the very grace for me to continue living with whatever I have in this life of mine. I may not have the very best of life but I intend to use whatever little life I have to be a blessing to anyone who is willing to be a friend of mine.

So, I am thankful for my 50th birthday "celebrations" though I would have loved a quieter one where I could sit by the beach alone ( Damn! Those beach in Melaka are being filled up for land development!!!! )  and reflected my 50 years in life. Yeah, if you do not know me by now, I am one of those old fashioned bugger who would like to have some time for himself during birthdays to sit down reflect on the goals set and even re-examine what I have done over the years.  Yeah, I am like that. It helped me stay sane and focus on my life.  I am not the proud, arrogant, pompous or even the crazy odd ball. I am just who I am - simple bloke from a small town with simple needs. 

What I like about turning 50 is the chance to turn 60 in 10 years time! Hopefully, this old man can reach that ripe old age and still enjoy the simple things in life. I am thankful for all the presents, the kind words, encouragement and support given to me all these years. I truly appreciate the friendship of each and everyone of you. You people make me so alive with the things you do or say each day or each week or even each year. I am thankful that I could still blow out candles to my cake without making a mess out of it or my dentures falling out !!!!! Thankful too that I could share a little of my life with each and everyone of you who had colored my life so immensely over the years.

So, there you have it - my 50th memorable birthday celebrations - my inner thoughts. Yunno, when the cakes are cut , distributed and eaten ....when the good words, wishes and blessings are given...when the gifts and heartfelt presents are unwrapped and marveled......what else is left ? Memories and colourful joy of a lifetime for the heart remains......that is what I am after every time I celebrate my birthday. Nothing gives me more joy/pleasure than  that fond memories, joyful time and that certain happiness in the heart. THANK YOU , everyone.........