PACA experience

My thoughts today is about what I have experienced as a PACA ( Polling Agent/Counting Agent ) experience in the recently concluded GE15. For many years, I have been very vocal and critical of our general election process and there has always been a lot of talk of this and that until one day, I decided to take up the responsibility of a PACA and see for myself what is the actual process of it all. So, I registered myself online as a PACA with the Pakatan Harapan team. I must say in all fairness that I’ve never been any member to any political party and I am what you would call a “fence sitter” if you will but I am inclined to support any political views which are good for this country. And so, in this instance, I am more inclined towards Pakatan Harapan for I find their manifesto to be beneficial or suitable to the country growth and fight. Most importantly, they are moderate in their approach and ways unlike many others who are  stoking racial hatred and religious fanaticsm. I guess, any like minded Malaysians would agree that our nation desperately needs building a further understanding, tolerance and unity of races, religion and creed. The rift continues to widen everytime our political leaders opened their big fat mouths just to win votes! Honestly, I am appalled by the despicable, unacceptable and degrading tactics used by leaders who uses race and religion to champion their cause.  I find them disgusting and a foul stench to our multiracial society and these leaders ( you know who they are ! ) should be ashamed of themselves for causing so much distress in this country.

Anyway, no wanting to side tracked, I wanted to see for myself the first hand experience of the running of a polling centre and be a historical part of the election process. In the early part, I went through the PACA training at one of the ADUN service centre and got as much information of the duties , responsibilities and carrying out the duties of a PACA. At first, it looked as though that there was so much to decipher and digest but soon, after the training, I went straight into reading the information booklet and got further clarifications from experienced PACA and also the SPRM. There is indeed so much to learn and understand. I was told that we are to dress up neatly and be professional in our duties. I guess, I ain’t the fashionable one but I guess, I, at least, do have some decent shirts and pants…..plus wearing shoes/sneakers. However, I could not understand why the trainer kept reminding us that the KTM or Ketua Tempat Mengundi is the most important person in the entire process and be real nice to him/her because he/she could give you a very hard time as the powers invested in them are quite enormous. I came to understand this later during my shift. It wasn’t a bad experience. In fact, it was a very good one.

As the days came nearer towards the election, I was asked to go to the ADUN service centre to sign the Surat Akujanji and submit my photographs and copy of the NRIC card for the Authority Card for the Pusat Mengundi and so on. It was at this time that I was told of the polling centre, my shift, my group leader and my captain together with the people I will be working with. It was all nice info crammed into my already full processor in my brain! Life went on as usual and soon enough, my day of reckoning arrived.

I slept quite well the night before the elections, thank you but I was awakened from my sleep during to the heavy downpour in the wee hours of the morning. By the time I left my home to get to the voting centre in town to cast my vote, it was raining cats and dogs. I managed to cast my vote early that morning and I decided to head towards my regular breakfast shop to have my breakfast. I knew I had to get something to eat as my shift would be from 11.00am to 5.00pm ( 6 hours ). As soon as I arrived at the polling station where I would carry out my responsibility, I immediately informed my captain that I had arrived and ready for my duty at the polling station. Soon, others joined me and I was happy to see these people. I was glad to have made a friend with one Mr. Pang who spoke to me on how to get into the voting classroom to replace my PACA partner without irritating the KTM, the position of my voting saluran and the need to send hourly datas. They were good tips and I truly appreciate that. He even went on to tell me how to do things slowly yet be attentive to the calls of names, cancelling them out and marking the numbers of voters. My Captain passed us a pack of chicken rice, a small bottle of mineral water and/or a small plastic bag of bread/biscuit. I declined the chicken rice and bread pack as I felt it was unnecessary but I took the bottle of mineral water which was a dumb decision as you don’t want to leave your polling station to pee as you would have lost/missed the data count at your polling station.

Not too soon afterthat, I went to my polling saluran ; registered myself as a PACA for PH with my KTM and took my seat beside the BN PACA representative. My duty started at exactly 10.55am that morning. I greeted my BN PACA colleague and also the Petugas-Petugas SPR warmly. The feedback was warm and good. It was a good start. My KTM is a no nonsense but fair lady. She spelled out the rules and regulations to me, had the necessary paperwork sorted out and recorded my name on some attendance book. She reminded me to be safe and keep myself safe with sanitizer liquids as we may encounter Covid patients and so on. It was a nice and timely reminder especially for a newbie like me. The staff of Petugas were young people while my KTM was a young looking lady too. Anyway, my PACA partner was Felicia, who was my junior in college days and it was such a pleasant surprise indeed. When I first took over from my PACA partner, I had to quickly digest all the things that was on my table – the name list, the counting sheet, the papers, the ruler, the pencil , the eraser and the table itself. I also had a quick survey of my surrounding atmosphere of fellow PACA, seating arrangements of the 3 Petugas, ballot box, seating place of KTM and the Voting booths. The info was all mapped out in my head , processed and ready for my action. After processing the first shift number of voters, I got down to listening intently for the info, visually checking the info, crossing them out and marking the numbers. From then on, it was smooth and  routine for me. I remembered clearly that for the first hour of my duty, I had processed 51 voters. Phew! That was a relieved and from then on, the numbers decreased but equally hectic as well. As we got into the early afternoon, my BN PACA representative was replaced by his partner, a lady BN PACA representative. I greeted her warmly  and we chatted small talk as the voters dwindled further. There was no animosity between us while there were some voters who made racist remarks and arrogant but the team ( KTM, petugas, BN PACA and myself ) were calm and very professional.  I came to know that at my duty saluran, there were 400 voters. That day, I had processed 165 voters during my shift and together with my PACA partner, we had processed a total 318 voters.

I must say that during my shift of duty, I had observed that the KTM and the staff of Petugas were very efficient, calm and very professional. I was very happy seeing them being that way. It was calm, jovial and relaxed atmosphere while the KTM looked stern but she was quite jovial and fun at times. Overall, it was a good working duty environment and one that I truly enjoyed a lot though it can be long and ardous process. That day, I did not eat anything nor drink anything while on duty. There weren’t any untoward incident but the turnout for voting was quite good. I saw a few elderly folks on wheelchairs came by to cast their votes and the Petugas were good in carrying out their duty. I am glad people came out to cast out their votes.

When it was time for me to go after my PACA partner, Felicia came in to replace me, I personally thanked the KTM and the staff of Petugas for a great experience. I signed out happy that I have carried out my duty well and headed to the bathroom before I get a busted nut! All in all, it was a good experience and one that I would not forget. In fact, I have enjoyed the experience indeed. I noted that from my observation, all the talk of unfairness of the polling centre and so on depends a lot on the credibility, honesty and efficiency of the KTM and the staff of Petugas. I am glad to have had the experience of seeing this credibility, honesty and efficiency from my polling saluran KTM and Petugas. That gives you the confidence that there are many honest and good people around. Like I said to the many who spoke to me on the experience as a PA, when I see clean, efficient and honest hands at the process of election, it gives hope to the nation. A hope that there are good honest people around who believe in tenets of faith in this country. I came in as a skeptic of the system but I came out a believer that good will prevail if good people stand up against evil.

That night, as I lay down to sleep, I could still hear “ Mukasurat 7 , No. Bilangan 177, nombor IC 530717075677 Lim Boh Lay “…….. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..such sweet sounds………  

Enormous Joy...

Sitting in the auditorium of World Trade Centre in KL can be quite an experience especially when it is the graduation day for your loved ones. It is a very spacious auditorium; the sight and sound effects were tremendously sharp and good while the atmosphere was indeed a great one. It is cold inside the auditorium while the stewards of the convocation worked with steadfast precision like routine from arrangements of the graduates, the lining up and the walking up to receive their scrolls. The camera snapshots, the smiles and the curt bow when receiving their respective scrolls were such an eclectic sight indeed. Afterall, you don’t want to fall on your butt while at the centre stage, right?

This was the 26^th Open University Malaysia Convocation Edition and I had the honour to attend my daughter’s graduation. In this respect, last Monday was the crown jewel jubilation for my daughter, SYuen who finally graduated from her Early Childhood Education Course. I must say with much satisfaction that this is probably one of those times in my life that I could not hide my enormous smile and joy. The parental pride and joy was so evident that even when I do actually fall on my butt as I rise up to give way to a Malay couple who were going out from their seats did nothing to deter me from that beaming pride and joyful feeling. Yeah! It was total embarrassment for taking a tumble like that at the auditorium common walkway steps on the most important day in your daughter’s life but heck, I’m totally fine with that. I could have sworn that I heard the graduates (plenty of them on my left ) gasped in horror and holding their breath but I stood up alright with no fanfare. I had moved to the left and had forgotten that there were steps at the back of me and thereby, the tumble!

Anyway, I realized that it was approximately a 25 seconds fame & appreciation walk for the graduates from the flashing of their name on the giant & humongously big flat screen TV, walking up the steps, getting ready to receive their scroll from the Pro Chancellor , smile and flash their Colgate/Darlie teeth, received their scroll, have their pictures taken and down the steps they go. All in one harmonious motion done with as much grace and poise as you can! WOW! This goes on one by one until the lot ends. It is like a production line in the factory producing human graduates for our society today in lieu of our working market today.

As I sat there seeing my daughter’s name flashing at the TV screen, I felt so proud of her. The feeling inside was enormously good pride and joy……thankfulness and love.  Here is a young woman who struggled and worked doubly hard to ensure she finished her studies. It had not been easy for her but she made it good. I still remember her words that rang in my ears that she was determined to finish her studies when she had a hard time coping with her studies. Many hours were spent on words of encouragement, tears , prayers and much effort of helping each other. It was such a struggle then but looking back at all the effort being taken , it was a very satisfying feeling to see her passed her exams and working through the assignments and so on. She poured her heart and soul in ensuring that she finished her course. SLing and I are extremely blessed to have family and friends who helped us along the way and give words of encouragement to SYuen.  These successes would not have been possible had it not been GOD. We want to thank and honour GOD for His great mercy and grace upon SYuen’s life. We held on to His promises and steadfastly believed in His love and grace to our lives. So, to GOD be all the glory!

I could not help but feel so proud as I see SYuen mingling and taking pictures with family at the end of the scroll giving ceremony. She had a widened smile and fabulous happiness all morning. I am thankful that Joa Wee & Felicia, Wei & Jade together with my mom-in-law were there to share our daughter’s joy.  I could not help but felt so blessed and humbled by the entire occasion. In a rare but extremely beautiful occasion, I could not help but felt so blessed. Many lives had contributed in loving and caring for SYuen. In areas where SLing and I could not provide, many stepped up in their lives and helped SYuen to be at where she is. I am ever so thankful to the family and friends for the undying love, care and concern. They have contributed in one way or another in ensuring that SYuen took those steps at the rostrum in PWTC auditorium today. What joy and good feeling one feels when you have such a support eventhough these same family and friends may not be there physically on that day. I believed SYuen felt blessed in her heart, body , mind and soul that day.

That night as I was driving back from the airport after dropping off Joa Wee and Felicia at the airport, I could have sworn that I could hear snores from both SYuen and SLing. I guess, the common thing which I saw at the corner of eyes  were two women of mine in my car having wide smiles etched on their faces with their eyes closed. One was a woman who had given everything she could to love, sacrifice, heal and protect her daughter while the other is a woman who had overcomed her difficulties, trusted & believed  in her abilities and worked her socks off to do what was needed . I guess, you want days like that in your life; a day that brings you joy and more joy that you could not hide those smiles even in your sleep. For me, I am so enriched just by knowing that every parent in that auditorium that day could and might have felt what I had felt – a sense of joy , a tinge of good pride and a good dollop of love for their graduating sons/daughters/wife or even a husband.

The rain pelted heavily on the car windscreen that night from KLIA and all the way home as I drove home but I wasn’t bothered as it was as if GOD is sending down the showers to wash away the blues and start anew with a good start. Indeed, I was tired to my bones after a long day but it was a satisfying one……very satisfying one indeed. I guess, a smile was etched on my old lined face too that night………….  

Baby Mark, the energetic Zoologist!

It has been some time since I last took care of a baby and so , when Loreen asked me if SLing and I could take care of baby Mark, I have no reservation whatsoever but at the back of my mind, I had this nagging question if we could take care of the baby. Nevertheless, when I told SLing about taking care of baby Mark, she readily agreed without hesitation too. So, our babysitting duties were on. YES! We were very excited plus we really wanted to babysit Mark well. We soon make plans to take care of baby Mark and also to take him to the zoo. Yeah, there is no better place to bring this tiny tot to the zoo and introduce him to the animals I have eaten in my life! Hahahahahahaaaa……..

Anyway, to make it an even more wonderful time, we had invited baby Mark’s grandparents, Bro Teo ST and Sis Evelyn to come along for the fun time. I remembered that SLing and I looked around our house and ensured that our place was baby conducive, safe and clean prior to the arrival of baby Mark. When Daniel dropped by that Friday morning together with a loadful of Mark’s gazillion things, I believe with all my heart that baby Mark is one lucky dude with such loving parents in Daniel and Loreen. Still in his morning 10 sen face and innocent looking demeanor, he was handed over to me and SLing as Daniel was off to work! Like a little ogre in fairytale land, I wringed my hands and tapping my fingers like the prayer pyramid, I exclaimed “ You’re mmmmmiiiiinnnnneeee!”  and let go some sinister snicker! But alas , it was not to be! That fella smiled at me and called me “Uncle” and all my sinister plots were gone within seconds! Such an adorable child indeed. Aided with his cheeky smile, puffy cheeks and playful eyes, he would melt even the hardest hearts out there. Anyway, within minutes of packing up his stuff of milk bottle, water bottle and what not, we were off to pick up his grandparents, Bro Teo & Sis Evelyn and headed to our morning breakfast shop at Neela’s Restaurant in Bukit Beruang. We had breakfast of roti canai and tea to invigorate us in our stomach and blood stream in the morning and stock up our energy which would come pretty handy when taking care of baby Mark while at the zoo. I must say that both Bro Teo and Evelyn were equally excited of the prospect of spending time with the grandson and also to visit the zoo after many years. To be very honest, I too would not have visited the zoo had it not been for Mark eventhough the zoo is about 15 minutes drive from my home. 

Anyway, to be fair, though the entrance fee may look a little bit steep for some but in all honesty, there had been some great updates and new attractions to the zoo that makes the massive jump in the price of the entrance ticket. So, the increase in ticketing pricing was expected. However, there is a 10% discount for Malaccans and reduced pricing for older folks ( warga tua ). Children aged between 1- 4 need not pay for the entrance fee.  I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the new upgrades and new attractions like the Dinosaur Park which is really a very good simulation of amalgamating the natural surroundings with the creatures of the yesteryears. Fantastic do up of the park in the zoo, amenities and eateries too. I must say I was impressed with Zoo Melaka! Double thumbs up for this attraction! 

I guess, this was also felt by baby Mark, Bro Teo and Sis Evelyn too. The colourful and loud Macaws greeted Mark and us as we passed through the entrance to the zoo. What a beautiful sight indeed! Mark was totally enthralled and captivated by the colors of the feathery birds and it was difficult to get a good picture of him without him turning his head around every time the Macaws made some joyful noises. It was such a joy seeing him enjoying the sights and sounds. Bro Teo and Evelyn gleefully glided and held Mark lovingly to show him the beautiful colored birds. The aviary of birds were nearby and soon, you could see Mark waving and keeping his eyes glued to the wonderful and beautifully colored birds in their cages. Soon, animals after animals soon filled our binoculars eyes as we searched for the animals in the cages. 

What a lovely sight indeed. The one thing I was so thankful on this day was the fact that the weather was just perfect for a zoo visit. It was cool, good breeze and overcast weather. It wasn’t a hot day but we were all sweating profusely. Our t-shirts were like our second skin that morning and profoundly laced with our sweat and perfumic aroma of sweat! But we enjoyed the sights, the sound and the animals in the zoo. Make no mistakes the four big cats were there namely black panther, clouded leopard, tiger and lion eventhough they were lethargic by the cool morning day. I guess, I must say that baby Mark and his grandparents enjoyed the walk in the zoo and the especially the Dinosaur Park. What an engineering marvel indeed! The life-like dinosaurs were marvelously built together with the movements and sounds made it really special for the child and adults alike. Personally, they were a mechanical and engineering marvel indeed. 

Anyway, I couldn’t help pointing out to Mark that the deers, birds, ostrich, emu and some other animals do taste rather good in black pepper, herbs and spices or even mushroom sauces during our private walks around these enclosures. Yeah, Mark gave me some look which I dare not even mentioned but at least, the truth was told, right? Can’t help it when I am at the zoo. Btw, baby Mark was really very captivated by the giraffe that he couldn’t stop smiling and pointing excitedly at the giraffe. Have not eaten that one and so I wasn’t able to share my experience with baby Mark on that one! Hahahaahahaaaaaaa…….

As we ended our trip to the zoo and say our goodbyes to Bro Teo & Sis Evelyn, who were whacked tired by now as they also took care of Mark and his bundles of energy, we now have to take Mark back to our home! It was delightfully frightening as we need to ensure his safety, fed, no bruises or knocks and most importantly, still baby Mark! It was an enormously joyful task! Mark must have been thinking “ Ha, the fun just begins!”  We took Mark back to our home, bathe him and fed him the best we could! Nooooooooo! Not from the animals of the zoo but real basic ABC soup la.  That fella, Mark refused to makan nor drink milk but continued to run circles around us in the house. Yeah, a nice place was his playground and there’s always something new to do. Eventhough we may be tired looking after this bundle of lightning energy zapper, Mark is truly a good, intelligent and cheeky fella. He would test us a lot by doing some things and then he would pretend to be innocent about it and gave up that wondrous cheeky smile! I must say that he is well-trained by his mom and dad, Loreen & Daniel and I must give credit to the both of them as Mark is really a well behaved boy. Yeah, he’s twisted in his own ways ( hahahahahahahaaaa…. He shouts rather loud but it’s all fun and good for me ! ) but he’s alive and he picks up words and phrases fast and he learns well. I am just so amazed by his bundles of energy and have reserves some more!!!! I came to the conclusion that it’s his milk powder. I suspect that those scientists, researches and manufacturers of milk powder today must have put some formula inside these milk powders to make the babies goes haywire with their bundles of energy and drive their parents mad/go crazy chasing after them! Yup! That’s my theory!

Yeah, SLing and I were pumped out by the whole day activity of fun and games meaning chasing that fella around our house and getting him to give us silly/cute look and the “ Catch me if you can “ look on his smuck face ! But all in all, it was such a joyful occasion truly  being able to babysit Mark. Baby Mark actually dozed off at about 4.10pm that evening after being up the whole day and after some milk and some rice meal. I was totally slumped on the sofa by the end of it  and I felt as though I have just finished a game of competitive football match with 6 half times!!!! Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa……It was fun and I’ll do it again any time. However, the next time, I’ll be more prepared, I promise. I’ll prepare some potent cough mixture first to make that fella drowsy and go to sleep…hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa…….

Now, where did I put the cough mixture?!!!!! I need some to sleep NOW !!!!!!  

Peace Walk

Exercising and walking in the park have been a new found joy for me lately. In terms of health and general well-being, I’ve seen a good improvement in that area of my life. I’ve also enjoyed the quiet moments with my Maker and it can be quite uplifting in many ways. I guess, we all needed that avenue when things seemed not so positive of late. For me, even in the little joys in my life, I would commune with my Maker in whatever way I could. I wish to state that I am NOT and DO NOT have the “holier than you” attitude. In fact, I always see myself as the worst sinner and I need to repent to GOD each day for my shortcomings. That’s why I find walking in the park at my own pace and at my own rhythm to be quite comforting. It helps me to have peace of mind and certain calmness when you are in a park.

I guess, I must say that when I first started out to walk in the park, I told GOD that I would like to greet “good morning”, “selamat pagi”, “chao arn”, “vanakam” or even “satsreeakal” to every walker I meet in the park. The reason is simple : Put a smile to their faces in the morning! Nothing beats having someone greet you “good morning” and SMILE! Sure, we all have tons and thousands and one problems on our shoulders but a smile can change the whole situation. A twitch in the corner of the mouth, a smirk on the face or even a widening smile potraying Colgate white like teeth are good enough for me! That’s a change and a good one indeed rather than walking grumpily and blaming the whole world for our damn misery and people not understanding us. Yeah, it may not help solve a whole lot of world problems you are facing but at least, for that moment, it makes you smile too and light up a bit. My target each day was to greet 20-25 people each morning I take a walk in the park. So far, GOD had been gracious to allow me to greet that quantity of people and now, I’m beginning to greet about 27-30 people every time I take a walk in the park. It feels good, really.  Boy! You should have seen those faces when I started out! Some replied back courteously good while some felt as though the whole world was against them, some even gave me the dirty/disgusted look while others couldn't be bothered. Surprisingly, I did not mind at all. So what if they do not reply with the same courtesy but at least, I tried to bring some cheer, right? So, I took it up as a challenge for me to make a small impactic dent in their lives with some form of goodness la! I was never that “cheery” type of person, yunno. I was one of those sour puss, couldn’t care less if the world tumbled over,  grumpy and cynically idiotic person those days. But I have learned a lot during my journey of life , learnt from good friends and most important of all, having GOD in my life. That gave me a sense of purpose in my life, really.  

I remembered when I first started out walking in the park, I was tired, sweaty and frustrated because I was out of breath most of the time. It was very difficult for me to walk uphill as I‘ve always hated that and it drained my energy a lot. I was physically unfit and wide. But along the path and walkway in the park, I would meet some of the most wonderful people who would smile , giving encouragement and giving me the thumbs up or even says” slow, slow. It should be okay” and so on. I was really encouraged by that , to be honest despite not knowing who these people were. At first, I was still my grumpy self ( having being dragged off the comfy of my bed to go exercise!) but soon, I warmed up to meeting these strangers who would greet me or give me a smile each time we meet at the path. I guess, GOD did put people in my path and help me see things in a different light. Now, I took the same opportunity to inspire ( if I may call the word ) others walking along the path. I was also very determined to make an 8.5km walk each time I walk in the park. When I first started out to walk in the park, I did a 4km walk on the path way and slowly increased it so that I could meet more people and walk a little further. Yeah, I don’t want to die being an overweight wide adult who is going to give backaches to my coffin carriers, yunno! Have a heart; they too have families to feed and the people needed them too! 

I want to relate one incident whereby a couple warmed up to my “good morning” greetings. For weeks, I noticed this middle-aged/elderly couple with serious facial expressions. When I first saw them, this was the only couple that would wear face masks as they walked in the park. They were always by themselves and would not be bothered by whoever greeted or passed by them. Being myself, I would greet them twice with the second time being louder as usually, for I too, would be tired by the walk after the second round around. Last Monday, the wife nodded ( still with mask on ) while the husband was without his signature mask and SMILED to my greeting! WOW! What a feeling, man! Yeah, small victory but significant one because now, they can smile too. Yeah, it’s such a small gesture but it lifts the spirit in your heart, yunno. (Mine, especially!)

in a different light, I am always very encouraged when I see these 4 ladies runners. They would always greet me and SLing enthusiastically whenever we meet along the path while there is also this group of 5 lovely older men and 5 lovely older ladies who would do the same. It just lifts up your spirit up each morning as you walk the path in the embrace of the cool morning. I am just glad that more people are greeting each other now than when I first started out. I remembered one of the 5 ladies asked me the other day while bumping to me midway in the park, “ Why are you so cheery each morning with your “good morning”?” I answered that I am just happy to be alive! She nodded her head and smiled. To me, there is no better answer than this, right? Can you imagine sleeping on your bed at night and not waking up ever the next morning? You’ve changed address to No.7, Jalan Pearly Gates, Mansion Garden! What a shocker, right!

Like I said, we can never ever escape from the problems that will surfaced in our lives,  troubles that may put us in such a tough situation or even difficult times in our lives. But we can take a short stroll, clear our mind a little, commune with GOD through our internal monologue as we exercise our body, mind and soul and build good stimulation of our mind and heart or even, just rest, relaxed and think clearer. Walking in the park helps you to de-stress for a moment, take a step back and just enjoy nature for a while. Draw inspiration and encouragement from the experience in nature and draw peace from the One Above. In your difficult times, look to Him as you share a time of solitude with GOD. It’s your ”ME” time – It’s you and Him, the Father.

I always have my favourite song blasting in my ears at the end of my 8.5km walk and it is “Confidence “ by Sanctus Real. My favourite portion of the lyrics of the song “Confidence” by Sanctus Real are these words:- 

Give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den,

Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness,

Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defence,

So, I can face my giants with confidence.

Be encouraged and be blessed! 

Inside Out.....

Of late our Sunday services have had some good speakers and last Sunday, we had Bro. Bryan Tan , the CEO of the Centre of Fathering in Singapore to administer the Word. Instead of preaching the Word, somehow he was led to share his personal testimony which is a very powerful message in itself. Just like any Sunday , I was in my usual easy-self and I really thought it would be back to the usual “feel good” preaching that many had done in the past. But I must admit that the previous week short seminar on apologetics quicken my soul a little bit for more meaningful message and learning. So, please forgive my slouched soul as I headed into last Sunday. Please forgive me for being blunt or as straight as it is because I really felt that most churches today jumped in the joyful bandwagon of dishing out populist move by preaching ”safe and feel good “ messages to the congregation. Always avoiding the crunches and the absolute wake up call that are needed as we face the daunting everyday life. It is not piling more misery to our soul but at least, don’t mask the difficult times but bring out and lead the people into knowing the joy and peace behind the difficulties and daunting days ahead. Afterall, God has already pre-informed us of the harsh times ahead and the promises of joy way ahead, right? So, arise and stand tall.

Coming back to the testimony by Bro.Bryan Tan, I believe, God must have somehow impressed upon his heart to share his testimony. By the move of slides,  way after his testimony, I could see some rather good preparation of the message but somehow, he could have been led to “dump” those preparation and went for his testimony. Though we all know that testimonies are usually individual experiences with GOD and sometimes cannot be used as a yardstick for others but when testimonies are administered in sync with the heart of GOD , you will see the ripples made by the testimony. That morning, I was caught by the raw, inspiring and forthright honest sharing. It was not an easy thing to do even for a seasoned preacher or deliverer of the Word. 

What a testimony this man brought forward! I will praise Bro Bryan for what he said but I will praise him even more for what he did – reaching out to God in his desperate plea for God’s intervention for his life. Many a times, we are what we call ourselves “bodoh sombong”. Pride and proudness stifled our walk with God. This was no different to this man. Being a leader, it is much more worse for him as people perceived him as a leader who would be “alright and all good” mode. Deep down inside, this was a stupid, proud and prideful man. See the resemblances in our own lives? Many a times, we are like Bro.Bryan or somehow act like Bro Bryan. Come on, don’t look like some angels in those artificial wings of yours! They are more like horns, actually…..

We masked ourselves each Sunday under the title we get as “leaders” and “ man of influence” in our weekday career that we are so broken and dying inside. We are just another broken human being like Bro. Bryan but we are just too proud to admit it. That’s why Bro Bryan’s testimony touched my heart a lot. That’s why the grace of GOD is all we have to sustain our fragile cracked life indeed. That grace from GOD really sustained us and we better appreciate that and honor that grace from GOD! 

What Bro Bryan shared are so true and correct that we have become exceptionally good in masking ourselves and how we try to keep our “clean & squeeky good” reputation intact without people knowing the truth behind us. Bro Bryan’s sharing resonated well with me as he highlighted the very essence of what is perceived as a church leader and the expectation of how people perceived a leader. Many times, we perceived church leaders and leaders as "good people, without problems, problem solvers etc etc" but in actual fact, we are all human beings with our own folly and weaknesses too. We also drove these leaders to have to put up that mask or else, if they show any signs of weakness or stupidity, we gossiped, slandered and asked "why our leaders are like that?", right? So, many times, we, together with our leaders put up the ”mask” that we are okay and good when in actual fact, we are all very broken inside. That honesty and confession touched me a lot. That's truth and hard facts!What I really want to applaud him was for his tenacity, struggle and his strong will to reach out for help and set his life right before God. That is the whole essence of his testimony. GOD makes all things possible!

His sharing of how God lined up people of expertise to help him really encouraged me. Many a times, I too could not understand how people would come in contact with my life when storms and difficulties just overwhelmed me but GOD did it, yunno. So, I really am able to understand what he was sharing at the pulpit and I was so blessed and deeply touched by it. To me, Bro Bryan showed me that there is a lot of brokenness in all of us but if we really take the effort to reach out to our Father in Heaven, He would hear us and extend that olive branch of healing to our lives. I am truly inspired by what Bro Bryan testified in my own humble way last Sunday. 

I must say that though the world may see us as weaklings and fools for our honesty and our openness but GOD would ensure that our hearts and the condition of our hearts would always be at the right place and at peace. I take away the precious nuggets of life that was shared by Bro Bryan with much thankfulness and mindful that GOD is and always the very centre of our peace, joy and happiness. 

A Thought.....

There are many things in life that I sometimes questioned my own sanity at how some things work. I know that we are all creation of God and yet we see so much pain and suffering in this temporary world we live in. We try to dissect and make things explainable to our feeble minds and yet sometimes, we failed to grasp the actual meaning of life itself. I must be honest that there are things which I could comprehend with my limitation of wisdom and simple mind but there are also things I really fail to see the logic of it all. I just could not comprehend the iota of human feelings and the heart of things. I believe that’s why God is more interested in our hearts than anything else because when our heart goes awry, so does our screwed mind and warped soul. 

Today, Soon Ling and I together with our family friend, Abby went to visit an old friend of ours. I guess, prior to the MCO, Soon Ling and I tried to visit this old friend of ours, who is in a care home, yet, we were duly informed that no visitors are allowed due to the pandemic. Hence, days, weeks, months and years passed since our last meeting and somehow, it slipped our minds on when we could visit this friend of ours again. I’ve always remembered this friend of ours as one who is flamboyantly dressed, sprinkled with cheerfulness, speaks well and such a bubbly happy figure. However, what mighty battles and darkness that loomed behind that mask of façade ….only the wearer of the mask could understand and imagined. I make no excuse in knowing every one that crossed my life path but there are some people that you could never forget because they are outrageously lovely people and this friend of ours in one of them. I could rambled on and on in regards to this friend of ours who was such a delight in conversation and a super livewire in personality. Her smile and her so called Angmo ways were such a delight or annoyance to some. She would cheerfully and explicitly tell us on how wonderful her two children were doing overseas and how delightful her grand daughter was. She was over the moon when she talks of her two children and grand daughter. She would gleefully show pictures of her grand daughter and beamed with pride when she speaks of her children. I must admit that I really admired her for all she had done and sacrificed in her life. I remembered that she would always glide towards me and say “ Ivan, you must see this! “ and she would show pictures of her grand daughter and her achievements or sometimes, “ Ivan, come , come, I must show you this” as she whipped out photos of her son’s and daughter’s family. I never took offence to whatever she whipped out or whatever she said to me. In my heart, I genuinely believed that she is happy, doing well and so are her children. I prayed and wished her all the best. Never an iota of envy or jealousy; only joy and happiness for her and her family.

It was about two or perhaps, three years ago that I heard that this friend of ours kept having accidents and physical difficulties at home as she aged. Probably as she grows into her age, she would have difficulties physically in handling herself each day. I came to understand that she had accidental falls, unwanted cuts and bruises due to accidental knocks and skirmishes with the walls, staircase and even split levels in the home. Maybe, her balancing acts weren’t there and hence, the bruises and knocks. At the end of the day, the best option was not for her to stay alone in the house and hence, the care home/nursing home was the solution. When I first heard of her enrolment in a care home, I felt bad as this was a free spirited and bubbly personality, mind you. You can’t contained or curtailed such person as the essence of their life is the free spiritedness and that freedom of …………………expression in her. For a long time, I never believed that she belonged there but it’s for her best as she had become frail and accident proned. Afterall, it was a family decision and that’s it. The next thing I heard, she was all bundled up and sent to a care home or nursing home for the elderly. Yeah, she was elderly but she was so……….full of life but yet her failing physical mobility was creeping up on her. To me, it was such a morbid thing to do but yet there was no helper in sight to accompany her in her home and so on. Yet, it was the family’s decision to send her to the care home/nursing home whereby at least, she would be cared for. 

For a while, she seemed to be accustomed to the home and probably with the thought that it was a temporary arrangement for her, she seemed to be getting on well in her life. Soon, as the pandemic prolonged, her hopes of getting back home and doing what she wants most diminished slowly before her eyes, her hopefulness dashed; her liveliness slowly died down and extinguished. I guess, in many ways, I can’t fault what the family had to do for her. But I am often reminded of an old saying which is often repeated and rang in my ears and mind as a child – “One mother can take care of 10 children but not all 10 children can take care of one mother when she is old.”    

I am sad as she had sorta given up and today, she lay in a heap of bones and half her size; almost like a malnourished child. Bed-ridden and probably, awaiting for her call to the heavens, she did not recognized any of us and yet, she flashed her signature smile once in a while as we try to introduce ourselves to her. O what a sight! As sadness, pain and brokenness engulfed my heart, I could only say a prayer for my old friend. Out of the blue, she said, “ Ivan with a fat stomach!”. Yeah, that’s what she would call me years ago. It wasn’t complimentary to the ears or even a nice thing to say but I didn't mind. I almost broke down in joyful tears as I heard it. At least, flashes of me is still in her flawed mind………… somewhere.

Day Out in Muar

When someone suggested that we take a short trip to Muar town for some food and sight-seeing during the King’s birthday holiday, it was readily agreed upon by members of our cell group. It did not take us long to craft out the plan such as where to meet and the itinerary for the trip. It was virtually an impromptu trip which makes it all such an interesting agenda. Everyone was excited of getting out of Melaka as the traffic over the weekend was really bad as the tourists , even from the idiotic land of Singapore came by to clog up their arteries with food and messed up our roads. What was even worse was the fact that it was school holidays for our children in Malaysia! So, the roads in Melaka town were jammed packed while favourite eateries in Melaka were packed like sardines with the hoards of kiasu and kiasi making their way to these stalls. Sure, we need the in flow of tourists to generate the much needed income for our traders but when it becomes an inconvenience to the local folks, that’s where tempers would flare and blood pressure will arise indiscreetly. I guess, we , the locals, had become prisoners in our own state during weekends!

Anyway, our Muar trip started early at about 8.00am that day. Upon seeing everyone at our meeting point and exchanging pleasantries, we were off to Muar. The drive was good except for the host of traffic lights along the way. By the time of 9.05am, we were at Jalan Temenggong Ahmad for our breakfast for the day. It was a unique road side coffee shop. It was interesting to note that the coffee shop was run by a Chinese couple while the food attraction of lontong, mee rebus and satay were run by a Malay family. Now, that’s truly unique and interesting indeed. For one, it was difficult enough to find such coffeeshop combo and to see one run well by these two families was indeed a joy to all of us especially in a multi-racial society we lived in. I really missed such shops as during the early days of my life, these shops were a norm and celebrated. We got off to a good start indeed, really. Though we had to wait a bit for the tables as our group was rather large but it was good atmosphere. The eclectic olden tables and chairs were indeed a welcomed surprise for us. I sat on a really old wooden chair of the yesteryears which had visible repairs to it. Truly eclectic indeed! The food came in the form of lontong, mee rebus and satay ayam ( Chicken satay ) Soon Ling informed me that lontong was good while I enjoyed the mee rebus while the satay was sweet and fragrant with enough spices marination. Ah…..satay…what can I say, always a great welcome taste to our tastebud in the early morning!!!!! Overall, it was a very good breakfast. We were filled in our stomachs and we needed to burnt out those excesses.

We were soon off to Jalan Sisi in town for the mural art work at the lanes. We were very thankful that we were able to park our cars at the allotted car parks available. Had we gone to Jalan Sisi much later, we woud be struggling to find car parking slots. After alighting from our cars, I asked a nearby shop proprietor in regards the mural art lanes. She pointed out to me and I was very thankful for that. Our adventure soon begun. Wow! The lane walls were adorned with beautifully painted murals depicting lifestyle of Muar during the early years and also the beautiful flora and fauna of Muar. I guess, I was like a little kid being handed a candy as I really love the artwork. I even inspected some of the artwork and I must say I was very impressed indeed. Some of the mural paintings were very detailed and vibrant. I noted the painting strokes and the color layering done to give out the pleasing impact to the eye. Just like any other mural paintings, they started to fade and peeled off as the greatest enemy to any mural is the touching human hands. I was particularly impressed with the baby birds in a nest and also the giant river prawn mural of a wooden wall. The details and colors were fantastic as far as I was concerned. I was also very pleasantly surprised that there was a lane specially dedicated to the autistic children group. It was a very honorable & lovely thing to do as there were sensory walls and pathfinder walls which the children could play with. I did the hopscotch game at the lane and it certainly was such a pleasant surprise. It was like reminiscing my childhood day of playing hopscotch! Yeah, I was like a little kid,man!

After completing the walk, we were off to a Chinese restaurant in Jalan Sungai Abong for lunch. At the restaurant, we met up with Daniel, Loreen ,Mark and Grace. It was nice to see them and we became a bigger group. So, Sis Evelyn and Grace ordered the food for us consisting of fried dragon tongue fish, fried foo yong eggs,  sambal kangkong, tou foo with pumpkin sauce, stingray assam pedas, sweet potato leaves vegetable and sambal petai with squid & prawns.  What a wonderful meal indeed! The meal was fantastic and very fulfilling. The stingray assam pedas is the best I have tasted so far and I am not kidding. I really love assam pedas and I hardly miss it if it is cooked with sting ray. I must admit that fish is not my favourite but I will eat these two fish anytime of the day if they are cooked this way. The dragon tongue fish was simply heavenly and I ate it right to chewing off the bones as well. It was good for me. The foo yong eggs and the rest of the vegetables were also very good. All in all, a really lovely and hearty lunch.

We were then off to Tanjong Emas for ice kacang, rojak petis and some Muara Sungai Muar sight seeing. I was amazed when I came to know that there is a Muar River Cruise program. What a great tourism prospect indeed. The crowd to this place had started to swell and so was the blistering sun! It was hot sun all the way before and after lunch. The scorching and sweltering heat from the sun made us all cringed like hermits and sweat patches had started to appear in huge artistic fashion! Luckily, there were some shades and nice big trees which sheltered us a bit from the blistering sun. Then Soon Ling and the womenfolk were off to Stall No.4 to get our fix of ice kacang and rojak petis while Abby got us mineral water. Yunno, it was so much fun sitting below the huge trees and enjoying the shades and fellowshipping with one another. Teasing, jokes and laughters spread almost instaneously despite the heat and everyone had so much fun. Looking back at the moment, I could help but realized that this is a group of beautiful people with big big hearts. I must admit that I am so blessed spending the day with these people and just being simple folks out there. No air , simple minded and truly humble people. The joy of sharing ice kacang or rojak petis , the breaking out of smiles and laughter and the simplicity of enjoying each others’ company were indeed the order of the day. Simple folks enjoying simple joys of life. My family and I felt so blessed, humbled and honored to be in their company. The smiles etched on their faces says it all, actually. Simplicity brings a lot of cheers to my heart especially in this very complicated, confusing and corrupted world we lived in today.   

So, a big shout out of “THANK YOU” to Bro Teo, Sister Evelyn and Grace for taking us to their hometown, showing us the places and allowing us to enjoy the sights & the food of Muar town. To Bro Dinesh family, Bro Fook Meng family and not forgetting, Daniel, Loreen and Mark,  thank you too for sharing your lives with all of us on this special day.  We will and we must travel again together. Onwards march to the next destination – Kuantan! What say all of you?