Dilema of a Worker......

As I stared blankly at the plastered ceiling board above my head, I am reminded that sleep had eluded me again. It must have been more than a thousand times I’ve had had this type of sleepless nights. Am I okay? Am I sane? Or am I just plain old? I seriously don’t know what to say. Some good hearted friends reminded me that “ it is all part of growing old, my dear friend! “ while there are some “really really” good friends who also told me “ See liao lor, you are definitely meeting your Creator soon! “ Choy! Choy! Choy! But it is all in good fun, actually, as I see it. I am not going to sleep over death caused I am never afraid of it and never will. Trust me, I have lived long enough to know that death doesn't concern me one bit. I will be happy to see my Creator if you get what I mean!

I have no idea what is happening to me but I know that many things weighed in my head. I am beginning to understand Dad better these days and how he have had sleepless nights though some days are really good for a good sleep. Guess, as we grow older, we kinda get “extremely sensitive” fast and people around seemed to tell you that your temper fuse can be quite short and nothing seemed to make you happy etc etc. Maybe, just maybe, they are right in certain sense but I believe, we all do have certain dosage of patience for stupidity and people who are genuinely a pain in the ass, right? Like I said, I know what I am saying....

Yeah, I am agitated. You bet, I am agitated like some busy ants when their nest is disturbed or when you stir the bee’s nest and the bees in the hive just get buzzingly crazy angry.

When I was a young employee, Dad used to tell me to do my best and don’t shirk my responsibility and so on. The lecture from Dad on responsibility, morality and integrity goes for miles and miles. Looking back, I am grateful yet I felt like a stupid dumb ass as I reflect on my life too which occurs every now and then. Ideals, expectations and hopes were high then but somehow they died along the way..........as one works longer..hahahhahahaaaaaaaa..... I guess, that is what happens when you meet real dumb piece of assess in your life, right? Yeah, win some, lose some!

Work and remunerations are also a funny thing. Sometimes, I am pinned to the walls with stupidity at work too. I wouldn’t say I am an excellent worker or “prime beef cut” or “worker of the year “ quality but I believe, I have given my best at work. A lot of us today, I mean, the “not-so-young” worker a.k.a kulikang tends to be steamrolled and bulldozed by young yuppy executives or overly ambitious aspirants who just wants to pour sand over your bowl of rice, literally. May I remind these young people and so mysteriously “old-young” people that it doesn’t pay to break or put sand in people’s rice bowl. We all have mouths to feed at home be it a father, a mother, children and even grandchildren.  Sure, we do mistakes along the way and we do try to do our best. Afterall, who is perfect in this world other than GOD? Afterall, we are all going to grow old someday. No one stays young forever, okay?

I believe, humbleness, willingness to listen to people’s ideas and also, a caring heart will win the day. Definitely you cannot win a worker to your side by the slogan - “ Don’t Work Hard, Work Smart.” Are you promoting slackers then? Yeah, only slackers, lazy, cunning and workers full of trickery will benefit from such work slogan! I minced not my words that this is the very reason why there are so many “redundantly and massively” highly paid moron executives at the top managements today. No pun intended for the real hardworking ones because you know who you are. I especially hate pencil pushers who just do nothing great and yet; lift their voice to hurl abusive words and hurtful remarks, showing off their volume of colourful spectrum of cunning vocabulary and apple polishing stunts to jostle for positions and pour nothing but scorns to their subordinates below them. Brother, lift those fella up and not trampled on them lar! You would not be there without those at the bottom rung working their ass off for you to get to your position today! Remember that!

Maybe, I am from the old school of thought. I guess, people tend to label people like me but to me,  honesty, humbleness and integrity are important values. With a slogan like “ Don’t Work Hard; Work Smart” - what values do you want to propel? Working smart, to me, means trickery and no integrity. That’s exactly what it is, actually!  Work smart for what? Get out of trouble, stay out the corruption ways or “you scratch my back and I will scratch your back “ feedback. What? Seriously, I don’t get it at all. To me, this is the rich men and populist men coinage of making more money and sucking the employee dry and high and leaving them for dead! To me, the road for success is pure hard work, blood and sweat - that's how my dad would put it. 

The other thing I really cannot understand is why an employer would pay his employee salary late or in arrears. It is disheartening for an employee to not get his salary on time. The logic is simply this :- Everyone got bills to pay from utilities to basic home needs, to car payments, to home rental payments, to even alimony! If the whole purpose of lateness in paying out salary is due to some “Smart Alec” savings on interest in the bank, I would definitely ask the Finance Director or executives or even directors to go find a really tall building and jump off it. You are a disgrace and a real nuisance to the society as a whole. Having said this, there are still practices like this on – going and every one is so damn quiet on this matter. I can understand if the company is having a financial crisis/difficulties but healthy companies doing such things are just pure nonsense. Mind you, I still see for myself, young lady executives/clerks/ proprietors lining up at the ATM Deposit Machine on the 6^th day of the month; banking in workers’ salary via CDM!!!! Have a heart la......

The other thing which I want to mention is that remunerations and bonuses are solely on the part or discretion of the company, as one puts it. That part I understand completely. That is before you declare the bonus in writing. But once, you put the figures on paper as someone’s bonus, you have the responsibility to honour it. Don’t be a “chow kar” lar.  

But when you break up the bonus to be paid twice or three times – that too I do understand – mainly due to financial constraints over the years. But to stall payments of declared bonus going into the next financial year and still with no payment in sight, that is really stretching it out a lot on the sanity of the workers. It is a common practice nowadays to do this and this is, again, pure stupidity. There is nothing genius about this except that it is a financial concoction of the highest evil of evilness! That is what it is, in actual fact.

Mentality of “penny wise, pound foolish” idea is really someone’s concoction of pure evilness. Let me put it this way. For the top executive in the so-called Management brackets, you buggers are the “sucked up specialist” who get the biggest pay cheque each month (Yeah, some of you don’t deserve it as you ride of your fellow workers blood, sweat, tears and hard work! Think about it real hard, you swines! ) and even without your bonuses, you will still be able to live within that means but for the middle and lower rung workers, bonuses meant a lot to them and to their families. Getting half your bonus one day before your festive season meant little as most shops would be closed by then and you really can’t do much at last minute shopping. Using your credit card for purchase (one of the greatest excuses given by top management.)  ain’t the solution too. I must admit that it has been years since I buy any new CNY clothes for myself for that matter. Years…..like 10-15 years…..now….

I feel it is like “tak kam buan bagi “ ( Peranakan lingo literally translated as “ not happy to give out money where it is due! ) and I do feel like a beggar everytime I have to do this before CNY celebrations. Maybe, some of you, the fortunate ones, do not know how it feels but let me give you an honest overview of how it was. The anticipation before the festive season - you wait and you go to the bank each time hoping that it would be different that year but each year it is the same old thing. It is so degrading and humiliating as your family waits for you in the car and their down-casted face when you tell them that your salary and half bonus is not out yet. Each week is the same and the missus decided that it is best to buy the children’s clothes from her salary first as they would not understand why they do not have CNY new clothes or Deepavali clothes or even Raya clothes for that matter. For me, I am thankful that my sister used to get the clothes for my children and I felt blessed and emotional at times when I think of it but most important of all, I have always wanted to bless my mother whom I cherished a lot. It is so sad just to shove some money to your mother as for older people, it is not the money but the care of getting new clothes from son and food stuff meant more than the money given during CNY. My mom had come to understand my predicament and she would comfort me by telling me that it is perfectly alright as we all have been there before. This is the old school of thought and values that I cherished in my life. So don’t tell me to “ Don’t Work Hard, Work Smart.” 

Yeah, this slogan came up probably because the number of people falling dead on their work tables during work, I guess! You shove a pitiance of money to the next of kin hoping it would somehow be some form of compensation after the death of their husband/ their son/ their brother/ their uncle/their nephew and that is supposed to be alright and make it all good again? People, this is the reality of what is happening and mine is no exception. I might get a backlash for what I write but at least, I write from my heart and this is what had been as it is all these years. 

Yeah, you don’t run a social welfare organisation nor a charity organisation and sure, you gotta make money in the business somehow. I am very sure that over the years that is what has been happening – filling up the coffers and make “ helluva lot of money ” but practices of such still are rampant. If it is a finance issue, why are the staff at the finance department not being more aggressive at collections or why give discounts to collections when discounts had been given at regular times?

I want to say one thing for sure – demotivations, frustrations and death of the inner spirit starts to occur. Staffs slowly dropped off from being productive and care. My question is : what is there for them to look forward to? What incentives are there in place to motivate their work? Money? Positions? Accolades? These big words “incentives” are just a clouded veil and office politics. Money is not everything as sometimes, money is useless when your child/ your husband/your wife/your mother/your father/ people you love lay in that casket ready to be lowered into the 6’ X 4’ plot! Sure, money is important to get your essentials and so on but it is not everything. There are still people who thinks they earn big bucks and with the big bucks under their belt, they can dictate things as they like and bully the ones that doesn’t want to respond to these things. These are what I would call “ Little Napoleon Bonapartes” or my own interpretation in Hokkien is “Little Napoleon Boh Lam Pahs.” Mind my language, people . Must be the dhall with the naan bread I had for dinner which had caused such horrific language! No more dhall curry and naan for me. Yesssssiree!

If you are like me, 20 years at the same work and seeing all these, it does stretch your mind in terms of sanity and motivation. Like I always say, “ Evil triumphs when the silent and good people do NOTHING! “ Maybe, in these difficult times, people may be afraid to lose their jobs and so on while some still have small children and so on. For whatever reasons known best to you and you alone, you do what is right for your family and your every day life.

Heck, that’s what making me sleepless, huh? Well, a pint of Guinness should do the trick though……would it? Maybe a glass of single barrel oak whisky should do the trick, would it? I dunno….I really dunno…..that’s deep,huh? 

Maybe......just maybe.......the angels may know the answers......