Someone told me long ago that marriage is a covered dish and you will never know what you will get in it until you go through that length of experience in marriage that you would finally understand. For me, I am still understanding it and still find it puzzling after all these years despite being in this collaboration and institution for such a long time. Compared to some who had more experience than I have, I find that each year I am still in the learning mode about my marriage and the very institution that drove some many to the walls of craziness, despair and pain while to some it can be rewarding , happiness and joy.
My little story started 27 years ago at that hallway at the former Maktab Perguruan Lembah Pantai in Kuala Lumpur ( The teaching college no longer exist present day ) when a scrawny, thin, fragile looking young woman equipped with an old squarish bag ( I came to know that it was her father's travelling bag years later ) stood rooted together with some freshies ( young aspirt teachers in making ) during the Orientation Day in 1987. Like any good "senior" fella , I was in the Orientation Committee and I scouted around for a while for suitable friendly friend but somehow, that scrawny looking woman in Wang Soon Ling caught my attention so much. Say what you wanted but to me, it was love at first sight, I must insist but then she did not know me nor knew of what would have happened then, right? Somehow, I courted her and the memories of it were so funny though but we really had some good times together while in college. The stories wouldn't have fitted the pages though.....we were young then..... Soon, my days were up in college and I had to leave to Sabah for my deployment of work there and it was goodbye again.
By then , we had been close and we would write to each other faithfully and I would be back during the holidays to be with her. Those were the good ol' days and it was really fun. Soon, it was time for me to tie the knot as it would be the right thing to do to make a decent woman out of SL and I did it in 15th November, 1989. It was the happiest day in my life and it was also dad's happiest day as his son was finally getting married!!!! But we would still be apart as SL was doing her teaching practical in KL and soon got her posting in Old Klang Road . By that time, I flew back to Sabah to teach while she taught in KL for two years. We were apart for two years and the distance did not make us feel parted at all as we constantly wrote to one another. Yeah, love was so much simpler, easier and faithful in many ways. There weren't complicated issues nor head banging headaches to deal with. I must admit it was much easier then and the main thing was that life was so much simpler, actually. It only gets complicated as we grow older..........hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa............yeah, old people think a lot......hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa.....
I remembered the day I broke the news to mom & dad that I have a girlfriend in SL. They gasped and fell silent for a while. Out of the blue, Dad broke the silence and said in a jest, " You are sure that there is someone who actually wants you? ". Mom then chipped in , " Yeah, you mean there is a woman who actually like you?". I didn't find it insulting nor amusing but it hurt a bit la...hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa...... I am sure my mother-in-law would have been in a greater shock, I presume! But those are the popshots in life that one would not forget.
So, year after year, we trudged along bringing into light two wonderful children in JWee and SYuen and doing our best as partners in life and responsible parents. I guess, from friends to partners to married couple to parenthood to two older folks now, we have gone through so much thick and thins together. I must admit, it is not a bed of roses or a straight path for us all along. There are many thorns, scrapnels of fiery quarrels, knives, hurtings and tears too. There are true days of pain, days of turbulence and trials in our road together but together, SL & I have weathered through it for the past 25 glorious years. It took a lot of patience, a huge dose of love, massive prayers and a strong heart to make our relationship work. It is not a fly by night process nor a quick fix remedy for all your problems. I must say, being silent, lots of prayers and a lot of silent tears helped to make the relationship a better one. It made us better people in life and it made us realised that being together helped us weather this hardship easier than any other days.
As I looked at my bread the other day, I realised that as I spread the butter on one side, I then took the strawberry jam that I made on my own and spread it on another piece of bread. As I put the two slices of bread together , they tasted sweet, smooth, slightly sour and fragrant ( I added rum and vanilla extract to the strawberry jam when I made it! ). That what my life had been with SL for the past 25 years. I must be the first to admit that I am not a good husband yet and that's why I am still in the learning and refining process of being one. I try my best each day to be who I really am and what I want to do in my life with SL.
To Soon Ling, CHEERS , babe for 25 years of bliss, fun, love and togetherness! Here's to the next 25 years IF we can still reach that far la...... hahahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
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