Doing the right thing....

The Asian culture of taking care of our older folks when they grow old have always been embedded in our lives ever since we were young and I must say, it is a good tradition. There are times, however, that these older folks can be very "difficult" to handle or somewhat incapable of taking care of themselves physically at times. I guess, the next best option is a care home or a nursing home when handling these older folks gets very difficult. I sympathized greatly and feel a lot for those who just had to put our older parents in these homes as many may not able to take care of them or simply struck down by disease or physical incapabilities. I do understand what many had to go through as I had the same experience with my late father who struck down with stroke and colon cancer. It wasn't easy for my mom and the family but mom chose to take care of dad. I felt very blessed though I feel a lot for mom who was very tired at times. I am thankful that dad, in his incapabilities , did not give us a hard time.

Guess, mom will always have a very special place in my heart. However, there are some ungrateful ones who just abandoned their parents in a nursing home or care home just to get rid of the older folks or even swindled their old folks wealth or simply because they are old and of no use anymore. That, to me, is a despicable act of inhumanity and cruelty.

Anyway, my family & I have always wanted to visit our good friend's mother who was not feeling well ever since we came to know about her condition. Somehow, day after day, this trip gets delayed and postponed but SLing and I decided to do it today. When we arrived at the home, we were greeted by the caretaker, an Indonesian woman and the Home owner himself. We shook hands introduced ourselves and told them we want to visit our friend's mother. Yunno, the place is clean, absolutely fabulously cleaned and no smell at all. That's truly amazing. Upon arrival, my good friend was already there accompanying his mother who was bedridden. For her age, Aunty looked healthy, her complexion looks good and her bedspread is clean. I tell you, there is a very special bond between son and mother. I must say that I am glad to see my friend doing his best for his mother. This can only come from a very special gift inside this friend of mine. I pay tribute to him, his wife and his children for all the care and concern they undertook together. Such care and concern are eroding in our society today. I guess, the old school of piety, honour and respect for elders is strong in his heart. What an honorable man! What an honorable family! I was moved to say a prayer for Aunty and with my friend's permission, we prayed for Aunty. As I gripped Aunty's right hand in mine, I prayed for healing and for love to flow to Aunty's heart. I pray that she will be blessed.

I was informed that there were 15 women staying in the facility called home. Some are mobile while some are immobile. Directly, across Aunty's bed was a woman who had a left leg stump resultant of an amputation. She is a chatty lady and we greeted her warmly. She spoke in English and we had a great time talking to her. Then, she spoke of the one who is a Hainanese and none of her children had come to see her since she was put in the home. Now, being a full blooded Hainanese, I couldn't help resisting the need to exercise my Hainanese speaking skills and so, I pulled up a chair and started speaking to this aunty. I guess, her hearing was not so good in one ear. So, I had to speak a little louder and that started the conversation. I asked her many things and soon, a historical chronology of events unfolded. There was so much hopelessness expressed in her but I will not have such talks. Slowly, I spoke to her on being thankful to be alive in the home and to just savour her life at the moment. From her sleeping position, she soon sat upright and we talked. As soon as I saw the crinkle of smile across her fully line face as I spoke to her, I know in my heart that she enjoyed the time we spoke. To me, it is a real joy for me to bring some cheer to this old lady's heart.

As we left the home, I wondered where would I be when I grow old like them one day. It is a question I know nor have I any answer until I hit that bridge. Seriously, until then, I guess, it would good to bring some conversation to these folks as they desperately needed someone to talk to. So, do spare your precious time and organise trips to these homes & bring some cheer to these folks. They are not after your money or want anything from you except your listening ear, your heart of compassion and you talking their lingo. I know I am blessed today and it made a big difference in my life. Remember, if you are going to bless anyone today, start blessing the older folks. The etching/twitch of a smile across the face and their blessings upon your life is truly rewarding for your soul!~