Social Satire....

Today I almost fall off my chair when I read that our so-called "Barang Naik" MPs are "asking" (dirty word!) for more money allocations for their constituents before the next coming election. To me, it is a farce. Where have all the earlier money gone in the first place? Everyone from the street sweeper to the trishaw puller to the yuppies and the dumb-ass bureaucratic leaders knows that each constituent is allocated a certain sum of money to develop that constituent. Where? Where have all that money gone to? It is such a shame that with all the hype of elections, erections, blinding bright bling-bling from ring and South African diamond bracelets, curvy new wife and ballot papers war,  we still have places in our country that do not have clean pipe water, proper roads and even electricity supply. Worst of all, all food essentials are hitting the ceiling in prices. OK! Let's be serious. Maybe these folks need to drum up support from the young children on the need to save money during their children days so that they can donate their money to get these basis amenities to their kampungs or even villages. Maybe, just maybe with enough savings, we could use this money to lower down our food subsidies so that we can get cheaper price. Please-lar, Please-lar, please-lar, people, DON'T laugh-lar because if our First Lady can save money from her teen days to buy the beautiful ring - why can't the kampung folks and children do the same, right?  OK, in the first place we need to get the money first,right? Apamacam mau dapat duit? Hmmmmnnnnnnn....... 

So, ok, let's go and speak to our our elected MP or WR and let's try to get some allocation from them. Let's not get the funds from the PR ones. They constantly have to have gatherings and dinners to raise funds. It is just like what we are going through in our religious establishment today too. Everything buy coupons or pass the biscuit tin around.  If all things failed, let's try to cook up some story that they are siphoning off our constituent monies and get our MACC involved but we have to pardon them a bit because they are only 3 year old establishment-mah. That's what our PM said. But wait a minute, aren't they called ACA the last time? As far as I know, they have been around for some time now but ok-lor, someone "messed" up their establishment alphabets and so, they look like ACA, talk like ACA, sound like ACA but they are not MACC,ok? Anyway, better get them involved in event we fail to get our money. Afterall, if all things fail, we can still, at least, sell bodies or even body parts that comes off from  the MACC building or from some recreational forest somewhere. The market for such parts are quite a fair bit and lucrative. There wouldn't be much problem getting these parts for export as all relevant export forms can be processed and assessed. Nothing is secret-lar. If the First Lady ring can get through, this one is kacang putih one, baby! If cannot, these spare parts can be hand carried as we are champion-lar in ensuring the entry and exit datas are erased without trace. Anyway, we have to be careful a bit when wrapping these part ( no yellow cloth, please! ) because we don't want to arouse the suspicion of our Wildlife and Game Dept. They might mistaken them for some animal parts and all will be lost for time is the essence in raising fund for our constituent. 
The other way is to raise awareness of the people for a rally. We don't wear yellow-lar. It makes us look bad in yellow-mah. We don't protest nor take stones to throw at people or take penknife to such rally. We take flower only and make sure it is not yellow colour. Cannot clash with royal colours-mah.  We should all find a place like near Tung Shin Hospital and everyone empty their pockets of loose change or ringgits so that they can be collected for this purpose of cutting down the subsidies-lor. We should also register ourselves at the special counter using our ICs and make sure we re-register over and over again so that we look like a big group-lar. Age from 21 to 101 , who cares. As long as our names are on the list , can already. Small-small group, nobody will notice. No one will check one-lar. We should also welcome our enforcement officers who will generously toss us a few cans of perfume-scented tear gas canisters to ensure we cry a bit to look pitiful for the newspapers and this will catch the world's attention that our country really need all the loose change and ringgits so that we can help reduce our country subsidies. They will also spray all with black pepper sauce-like water to remind us that stepping on a few cows head is not a good act because black pepper sauce goes well with cowhead meat and brains! It is also food. No good to waste food.  This is to ensure the whole world can take an example and follow our lead in food conservation - good to the last skin!Maybe, just maybe, we could actually sell some cowheads meat to raise funds for this cause too........something along Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution movement........hmmmmnnnnnnn......interesting, kan?  What to do-lah, desperate times means desperate measures for the survival of our kampungs, tamans and society-lor, right? Malaysia Boleh-mah! What you think? OK or not?