Inner rants...

Each day, at around 7.00am, my merciless brain juices & mangled of kueh teow like brain matters would automatically send a distress wake up signal and I would wide awake in the brains while the eyes have yet to receive the wake up signal. Like a systematic zombie each morning, I would be auto-cruised "awake" and crawled my way to the bathroom. It was at this pertinent time in my life each day that  I would often asked myself if I am ready for work. The answer has always been "NO" screaming in the brains while the body slumbered steadily towards the shower head. As the cold sprays of water hit your face and hair, it is like having jolts from a thousand needles from the acupuncturist pricking you with his sadistic ways. I would scream every possible name in Heaven and on Earth including my ancestory lineage and the languages I used sometimes would not have been recognised nor discovered yet by the World Language Society though. I would be stunned temporarily as the eyes cracked open for the first time to see sunlight passing through the cornea of the eyes as if telling you, " Good morning, you sleepy head!". Then it is the traditionally reaching out to body bath bottle with eyes half cracked open only to reach out to the hair shampoo bottle. As the hair shampoo hit my face, it is like " What????........." and then I scrubbed through it as I don't want to waste it! With exceptional formation of foam at the face, I would rinse off and in the midst grab hold of the body wash and do the stretching exercise all over again,. Yup! That's the only exercise I will get each morning with the scrubbing of the body with some organic sponge. It feels good to be scrubbed clean but somehow everyone still tell me that I have a fantastically record time in bathing and getting myself ready. Ready for anything -mah ( I was taught of this as I joined RR Ministry a decade or so ago! ) and that includes drying oneself up. So, as the eyes are now completely opened wide, I don't look like a Korean without surgery nor a Japanese fella too. So, I slapped on the hair gel on the palm, run through my fingers with gel and then do my magic to my hair. The main thing is to hide/blend those white and greyish hair with the black ones. In that way,I would look twice as good in grey or in black -whichever way you want to see it! Not that I care much about this! To be awake at this time is ITSELF a miracle!

Then it's off to the wardrobe for working clothes. Before that,  it is a very gentle squirt of YSL L'Homme at the neck on either side and armpits. Then, it is "good morning handsome" look to the mirrors before putting on the clothes. As I checked up on the sharpness of the clothes, a quick check of the hair and the morning look are important. I keep telling myself that the bulge at the front has to go but it is still there day after day, months after months, year after year and so, I will leave it at that but at least, I tried telling myself that the bulge at the mid-drift has to go. Pick up the handphones from the computer lap top area. A quick check at messages if possible and then head down to the ground floor to get ready for departure from home to work place. I would go to the "bowl" to retrieve my cardholder, my trusty watch for almost 18 years now, my Parker roller ball and the Parker ball point slim pen, slipped them into my front shirt pocket. One colleague used to tell me that I looked like a pen repairer with two pen in my shirt pocket! To me, you can think whatever you want - the two pen stays! Then I would retrieve my wallet, check the contents, usually wafer thin pieces of notes but happy anyway coz' the thought of having roti canai and teh tarik at Pak Din's shop would be a welcomed morning thought! Slipped the wallet into the back of the pants, sit on the sofa, switched on the TV for sports news and slipped on the socks over the foot. Make some nasty remarks over some EPL football result or when your favourite football team just messed up or watch some Duck Dynasty clip or Swamp People bringing down some crocs to have some laughs in the morning. Checked everything at home, raised my hands and waved at my neighbours ( don't know any of them though! ) as if to say "Good Morning", smiled and flash some teeth, closed up the grille and gate, start the car engine and head for Pak Din's shop for breakfast. Order the same meal each alternate day, smiled, paid the same RM 2.80 each time, thanked Pak Din & wife, cleaned up and drive to office car park.

Then, parked the car at car park, whined to myself " Do I have to do this each day? Oh Gawd!", pick up my bag and headed up to the office. As I turned the keys to the timber door, I had to kick it twice to spring the door open and there to greet me is the aroma of dead rat somewhere along the timber staircase structure. Sucked up all the air in my lungs and hold my breath, practically lumbered my way up the wooden staircase and halfway through the staircase, I would  switched on the staircase light and viola! there was light! Then still holding my breath and almost turned purple, I would reach at the end of the staircase, let go of the air and tried gulping in air from the inside of the office which was equally horrendous as the outside. I would switch on the lights and power up every available air-cond ( which seemed to be at the end of their shelf life also), clonked at my seat , switched on the computer and begin to wonder, " What the heck am I doing here?"

Well, have you ever had that "feeling" ? Well, folks, you are NOT alone, anymore, I tell ya! You are NOT alone!