Widows...

Many times, we hear people trying to look for the life extending potions or elixir of life to have added years into their lives or to make them able to walk a few extra years but I say to thee, we all have to die one day. No amount of elixir of extended life herbs or spices or even some hardened birds saliva pieces are going to help one bit in making the heart pump a little extra longer. It is all in the hands of our Creator. When the warranty on the pumps of our hearts are up, it will stop pumping and that's it. I know that what you are thinking is that why am I writing such a morbid and despicable topic, right? The fact is that we all have to die one day eventually but what about the living? How do they cope? How do they get by when the crowd had thinned out? Worst still, who are there to support them - financially, spiritually and mentally? I am talking about widows in our midst of our faith foundation. You'll probably say, " What about them? They have children. Let the children take care of them." We conveniently toss the widow back to the children and biblically say that it is rightly so that the children took care of the widow and wash our hands clean to move on to the next building project or raised funds for other projects or better still, get involved in more money -making project machinery in our churches today. That's how hardened our hearts have become because of the numerous fund-raisers we do in churches today.
Today, I want to lend my moral and spiritual support to the neglected widows in our churches today. They are no less human like us but they have seemed to be the forgotten lot. Let me remind you of a very old Chinese saying that sounds like this : One mother can give birth and take care of 10 children but it is not sure if any of the 10 children can take care of one mother when she is old. How true this saying has become today. As always, any group of people who needs help financially will automatically be a burden to our little faith empire today, isn't it? I speak this with much sarcasm and chagrin towards our little faith foundation. Why? Aren't widows human beings too? Why are widows being shunned to one side in our churches today? Yunno, I am not going to say that all widows are not well to do. I have seen many whom have done well, moved on in their life, struggled, be successful and so on. My question is what about those who faced hardship or whose husband did not leave a penny to their name or bought any life insurances or those who were fleeced by their own children constantly? What about them? What about those who needed spiritual & mental support and encouragement? What are our plans for such widows? How can we extend our hands of help? Have we ever extended any help at all?

Again, we all gather like all good men & women during funeral services , shed some tears, say some nice things during Wake Service and even attend the final ceremony but then, we leave the widows to fend for themselves - for better or for worst. Many widows I know are financially alright after struggling to keep the family afloat but what about those who really needed help? Are there any plans to help them or are they a financial burden to the church financial structure or worst still, threatening the layer of fat in our church current accounts today?

Tell me honestly, how would you cope if our spouse pass away today? Ask this question seriously to yourself? How would you cope emotionally, spiritually and financially? Ask this question to your conscience and answer this with all your heart. We dare stand at the pulpit and shout so much that we want to be the father to the fatherless and what not but we neglect to see the needs of the widows in our own backyard. What a shame indeed! Mind you, we have widows whose husbands were driving forces in helping out the church in many ways and in those 'glorious' days, calls would come to seek their help , asking for financial help and sought favours from them but when they passed away, the calls mysteriously stopped and some have been told to take a bus to church or find your own way to church on Sunday! Such hypocrisy happened and don't give me that shameful dumb look! This is the same group of people whose husbands gave their whole hearted support when they were "needed" but when they passed away, everything seemed to pass away too! Somehow, the Malay proverb, "Kacang lupakan kulit" very aptly described it all.

I say this to you - the widows needs a listening ear. The widows needs a word of encouragement and support. They need to have spiritual guidance and help. They need to have focus and good discussion on their future. They need caring hearts to care for them. Where are we when we are needed? Is it because it doesn't concern us means we don't bother about it? Look, some of these widows are financially strong and cared for by their children but what they really need is care. How have they been cared for? Has our religious institution look into this matter or this is another "burdensome" group in our churches today?

The church is in such a position to help these widows and in turn, these widows will help those struggling widows - young or old after having going through some solid support during their difficult times. This would help strengthened the Body of our faith foundation and at the same time ensure a good continuity of genuine support and love. This is the foresight that churches should have to ensure the growth in love, care and concern. There is no point in shouting and preaching about love, care and concern if we don't even raise one finger to shoulder or spare an ear to listen to the pleas of the widows. Putting it in plain perspective - all talk no action one! I hit a raw nerve, didn't I ?

An old widow shared with me this quip when I was younger - "When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you but when you cry, you cry alone." BTW, my mother is a widow too and I do understand what I am talking about !~