Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Heart matters....

Being in leadership for the past 15 years in church ministry had taught me an awful lot. I must confess though that I used to have a vile temper,  impatient , have a strict disposition and I have a face that would make the dog/cat cringe in anguish when I stare. After all being said and done, I must confess that I have learnt a lot over the years but certain values remain in me.  In my years of being a leader, I must humbly confess that I learned a lot from other leaders and the youth/children that comes with the ministry. Yes, plenty of flowery characters walked through that corridor of leadership and youthful internship. Some are just plain nasty and cunning while some are just pencil pushers and mandor while some are just family. One thing is for sure, we do learn from each other - leaders to leaders, leaders to youth, leaders to children.  However, I have come to realise that good & great leaders are usually the ones who are strict and sometimes, very stern/principled in a lot of matters but at the same time approachable, sociable and always with a genuine care. I do count myself extremely privileged and honored to work alongside some of the best and finest leaders in the ministry. I know that in today's leadership climate, you want an open, happy go lucky, easy -going and "not so threatening" leaders in your midst so that you can "bully " them, right?  Frankly, these type of leadership failed most of the time as they can become popular or a populist very fast but they cannot handle the real situation when it warrants a whip or a real hard look at life. You can debate with me all you can but if you continue to be a crowd-pleaser leader, your leadership will be very tested and warped at times. Afterall, you bend a little at a time, you will compromise your entire integrity bit by bit and when that integrity is gone - what is there to defend of yourself? Yes, you will be popular for all I care but you don't deal with the real issues at hand. When the real issues comes round the corner, can you actually answer or help or stand up to deal with the exploding issues? My principled stand is always this :- Prevention is way much better than cure! 

Well, allow me to enlighten you that these so-called "hard core" leaders are actually very much likeable people but their values and virtues are different. The difference is truth, honesty and transparency. You have never seen how these so-called "hard leaders" sometimes get hurt by taking the bullet for the team or get hurt by very hurtful remarks hurled at them at great length or getting abused by what they stood for. They just stood there, received all the complaints and what not and would not blame the team or any person for it. Good leaders stands up and be counted even when no one sees it. Good leaders takes the bullet of hurtful remarks when others would just whither away from their responsibilities or practised "tai chi shift blame" stand. Good leaders cautioned and speak facts and figure without any malice. Words may be harsh and may be stern but it is the correction from the heart and not the flaunting of tempers. The fact remained that these leaders are actually the most caring and most loving people. They shield the pains and hurts from the ones they care and love a lot. When you hurt them, it is like plunging a knife to their hearts but though wounded and hurt, they would not turn away from you but will continue to support you in whatever way they can and love you as their own. That is the characteristics of a good, stern & strict leader. It is the heart of these leaders that amazes me a lot. They built their relationship with leaders and young people with these simple principles and on the good footing of the Word. To me, these leaders are family to me for a simple reason. Their hearts are always enriched with forgiveness, no malice and when you are in trouble, they are the reliable ones. They are the ones who will be around even when others had walked away from your life after your disaster in life. They are the ones who will walk you through that path of recovery when no one else gives a two hoots about you. They are the ones who will pick you up by your hand and tell you loud and clear - " Start again! " to pick up the very pieces of your life. I have seen "hooha" leaders, big talkers, populist leaders clowned and weaved their ways through the lives of young ones and ends up on the other side of the room. The minute difficult times comes or a disaster had befall you, not even the sight, shadow or smell of these clowns will be around but it is the strict and stern ones who will put out their hand and say " Take my hand. It will be alright." 

My experiences in life are enriched with these experiences. I can say and write about these things because I have seen it happening and experienced it myself in one way or another. I wasn't born yesterday with all the ready-made virtues and values embedded in my life. People like this colored my life and gave me a hope and meaningful movement in my life.  If I were to put these stories of my life in writing, I'll probably be writing for days but suffice to say that I am privileged to call these leaders - my family and the ones I can trust my life with in times of troubles and pain. Wouldn't you want someone like that to be your leader and your friend? I learnt the other day that I can't make that decision for you to choose but the prompting of the heart by God can! Take care and have a great & blessed day ahead!~    

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