Values...

This morning as I sent my daughter to the dentist for her regular dental appointment, I battled within my self , " Should I let her go on her own? Or Should I accompany her as well?" I guess, this is the daily dilemma each parent go through when dealing with their growing up teenager. Well, I must confess that I am no different. If I were in my generation or rather as they put it "in our times" , I would have gladly left my daughter to go to the appointment herself though I would drive her there but somehow, these are different times ( or is it? ) as my two inner voices collided with each other. Looking at her , I often wonder if she could take care of herself and do her things independently. I guess, in many ways, I am protective over my children but at the same time, I want them to learn to live independently but still remain humble, polite, respectful and independent at the same time. I will not interfere in their lives but that doesn't keep me from using/pulling out the whip to shape them back into the line when they go astray.

Anyway, as the "battle" rages on, I decided that I would allow her to go to her appointment and deal with it instead of dotting along with her. Afterall, she had grown up and she would be able to react and do things in a rationale manner. Anyway, after listening to her after her appointment, I felt that she still had many things to learn though she did very well on her own. Deep down in my heart, I sometimes wish that she would have asked , probed more and reacted more but slowly and surely, she is getting the idea of dealing with people. 

As a parent, we can only wish and hope our children would be able to fend for themselves independently. I am an advocate of such ways but I also believe that the younger generation had become too dependent on family and the government crutches. To me, honestly, I do not expect anything from my children except that they behave themselves, have self-respect, remain respectful and work independently for their future. I sometimes feel as though I am such a failed father when my children don't do well in their lives. I do honestly feel that way but the solace from God has thus far become my guide. Though I don't show much of my emotion on the outside but deep down inside, it cuts me up bad. Anyway, being parents, we still have to toughen up and help out our children whenever is possible. By the way, you can only that much for your children. The rest is simply up to them to wake up, smell the roses and going through the removing of everyday thorns from their lives. 

Seriously, as a parent, I hate laziness and "tidak apa" attitude from my children. I will not budge a single inch when it comes to "tidak apa" attitude, disrespectful and plain laziness attitude. I must say confidently that I would not be where I am today if I had practised these mantras of human failings. Let us not overly-pamper our children but let us be aware of their surroundings, their decision-making, the friends they mix and the places they go. Make it a point to know these thing because like I always warn - the world is always the willing parent for our children lest it will lead them to their dark abyss at times. Let's be mindful, watchful and patient parents. We do not want to restrict our children but we want to let them go but hold on to dear things we hold precious in the sight of God. Let God be the center of our lives and the lives of our children. See the transformation through God and may His Word enrich their lives as it enriched our lives.