SuperDad!

Today, I want to speak up about being a father. In my years of being a father to my children, I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions – joys and pain, gut-wrenching good/bad decisions and sometimes downright unpopular decisions, so help me God!
All I want to say is that we are all first time fathers. We have no training nor seminar nor conferences to attend to at those early years. We depended a lot on God and our own instincts along the way . Through many trial & error methodologies, we are where we are today. It is a hands on job/responsibility for us as fathers. We are often thrust or even entrusted into the job of parenting [ father/mother] and more than often we have to deal with a lot of good and bad decisions in our lives. But being a father for the first time is a thrilling and wonderful feeling. In fact, being a father to your children can both be rewarding and satisfying feeling but it also comes with a lot of challenges ahead of you. I must say that I am still learning to be a father.
Being Asian and being a Chinese, it makes our job as fathers doubly hard and intense. We are looked upon as providers both in the financial field and also, the family emotional support. As fathers, we are expected to know what to say, how to say and when to say - where it fits. It’s a responsibility which I cherished and learnt along the way. Fathers often play the role of a protector and a rationale individual. Mothers – well, they are financial providers too and their level of love for the children is so much deeper than you’ll ever know. God bless mothers, though!
Please allow me to be the ‘test subject’ for this article or ridicule – whichever way you want to look at it! I am often being looked upon as a very harsh and no-nonsense father by my children. The fact is that I am also moody and grouchy at times. That I have to admit, really but I am a no-nonsense dad. The actual fact of the matter is that I love my teenage son and daughter very much. There has NEVER been a day where I am not proud of them even in their success, failures or short- comings. It is just that at times, being teenagers, they get on your nerves by doing things that irritates you, test your mental patience to the brink of insanity and stretches the limit of your frailty when it comes to decisions and simple logical equations of life! Then, they do the same thing to their mother, stir the hornets’ nest and the rest is history! It is a chain effect whether you like it or not – irritate or get the mother and the mother will get the father…. You’ll see what I mean! Hey, I am not going to lie or pretend that I am the greatest loving father in the world because I am not. But the least I can do is die trying, right? Like I have always said, I am also made of human flesh and blood with emotions, temperament and so on. Yeah! There are times I would like to kick the butt of my teenage son & daughter and give them a great tongue lashing, though! But there are times I reached out to them in my own way. As hair goes whiter and gets thin by the passing days, I understand that my life as a father goes beyond the call of a father but rather be a superdad! Yes, virtually in today’s society , you are to be a superdad! There is so much to do and so much to catch up in your children’s lives. I remembered that my two children were still in primary school and within a blink of an eye, they have grown up right before my eyes. Different age gap, different perspective of life and different needs altogether. But then again, think of this, if the children can’t rely on you , who else can they rely on – other than God? I have learnt the hard way that sometimes, our dreams, aspirations, our likes, our hobbies and our “ourness” has to give way or take a back seat when it comes to raising our children and providing for the family. I guess, some of you may throw bricks, shovel or even cement packs at me but it’s the truth. It is not about what you want anymore. It is about “we” as a family. How we can maintain that “we” feeling in our family. Sure, you can still continue to have the things in your life but now, you will have to do a lot of sacrifice for the children and the family as a whole. After all, we brought the children into our world and it is our filial duty to provide them with the best of our ability, right? Yes, we are not to spoil them while idiotic tantrums must be met by the ever-reliable ROTAN! Parents, please do NOT spare the rod or you'll really gonna spoil your children. I don't really care what this or that preacher says about bringing and speaking positives of this and that [ the soft approaches and mental pyscho of the children ] to the children and so on. Bah! Believe me, they need the ROTAN and what ever positives will prevail & learnt rather quickly!
I also remembered [ stil doing it! ] pouring over , tuition fees, utilities bills, insurance payments, allowances, groceries bills, car payments, house installment payments, more bills and so on. It is like a never ending mountaineous pile of bills! Those things give me a depressing and headache time but it has to be done. A little concentration here and there, cutting down expenses here and there, I was able to balance the books with only a little to spare for the month. It isn’t easy, I must say but I have managed the household as a father with integrity and honesty. I do not lie about my predicament and my short comings while I am utterly most thankful to friends and colleagues who give me a meal or two due my lean financial period. I am extremely thankful to them who had taken the opportunity to bless me so much. I have learnt from my late dad of one very important rule and I have always kept that very close to my heart : Feed the family and put food on the table always even if it means you have nothing to eat as a father! That principle kept me going for years now and probably for years to come before I closed my eyes and lay down in the 6 by 4 plot!
So to fathers out there, it is okay to express your disappointments and joys. There is a need for us, as fathers to realize too that we are the head of the family and our children’s earthly spiritual father as well. We need to play our role as effective as possible and give our children good insights of our Creator. A good buddy once told me that the world is an ever willing father to our children if we are not careful to educate our children on the enticement of the worldly pursuits.
So, yeah, superdad or not, you are looked upon as the strong pillar in your family. To be that strong pillar, you would have to really play your role as fathers should. Don’t slack nor neglect this duty. It is our responsibility to continue to be an inspiration, encouragement and the support for the family as a whole. It is a domino effect if you want to know when it comes to family ties. So, all the best to all the new, young, not-so-young, older dads out there. Your journey begins today – chart it well and moved with the light. Never cut corners or take short cuts for the thicket torns and bushes are aplenty away from the path while danger lurks at every corner. Stay with the lighted paths, guide your family in that path too and fight for their lives because every battle won is a battle won for your family. God bless!~