Today I had my limit up on my teenager son and I often wonder where I have gone wrong as a parent. I was so incensed with his attitude and his character that I really wanted to give him a big boot on his overdue behind. I have learnt long time ago that teenagers today have thick skin, triple thick numbskull and doesn't think things thoroughly before doing anything/reacting or even responding!Just yesterday evening, I gave him a pep talk on what had happened lately and my complete refusal to budge to such bad attitude, responses and habits. I have also painstakingly explained to him the need to get a good education [ coz' I can't afford to send him overseas or over the sea for that matter! ] while major exams is just around the corner. I have practically exhausted & emptied my entire saliva glands just to explain to him the need for honesty in the family, to get good sleep, study well and cut down on unnecessary expenses on the mobile phone and many other issue that had cropped up. Then blatantly, today, he did the unthinkable over a host of other things. [ the list is never ending when it's a teenager involved! Sigh! ] Honestly, I was heart-broken and devastated as a parent. It is really very different when it actually happened to your family. You just lose your trust on the boy and I actually did! I was devastated and really upset. I had never felt so let down in my life and it was like having a big kick to your intellectual properties down below! [ Don't be fooled, they actually hurt! ]
The other good half of me talked to me about giving opportunity & room for change while good friends namely Dinesh, Abby and even Zam [ Dinesh's sister ] gave great input too by soothing down the situation. I really appreciate the comfort and advices given. I am thankful too that at least, the son wasn't involved in other worst problems as pointed out but it does irks me a lot when he does what he does! I guess, that's the learning curve we all have to go through as parents and teenagers. However, I must say that I am a firm & strong advocate/ believer in discipline , good manners and integrity. I believe that these are strong principles in life and I try to impart them to my children and hoped that it stays for generations to come.
So, if you have teenage son/daughter, grit your teeth and pray real hard that you don't lose your sanity!
8 comments:
hi uncle ivan...heres something get one of his close friends....those u trust lah...to just chitchat advise him..coming from me personally i believe it is better then just advice from parents la...i myself admint turning a deaf ear when my parents speak....but if my fren tells me off, it gets me thinking...i guess at this age we tend to listen to frens more....unfortunately..
Thanks,Bryan. I really appreciate it a lot! That's honesty and I appreciate it very much. There are times I am really up to the wall with him. I am afraid to "lose" it at times,man! Thanks, again!
haha... yea i agree sometimes we teenagers just don't listen to our parents coz we think they nagging all the way but for me the nagging from my parents are good advises. sometimes they say some harsh words that i find it hard to swallow at times but hey.. it really works. I believe when is he in college or uni someday may be he will start remembering the advises you given to him coz the world out there is totally nonsense.
I learn the hard way when i enter college the first day. From that day onwards i learn to listen to them and exchanging opinions what we think instead of shouting or ignoring them..
Have a good day... cheerss
Hi Allan, thanks a lot for the support too. I really appreciate your views,man! Really blessed this old heart of mine.Thank you so much for your input. Really appreciate it!
yeah, teenagers nowadays is hard to handle. everything is high with technology. expenses is going up. advise ain't going to be one of them. and yeah, we tend to take things for granted not knowing the down side of things. it's sad to know when your son does something really bad and it sucks.
i think teenagers are over fed with everything now, studies, good homes, mobile phones, money, etc.
anyways, whatever it is, one day he will realize that obeying parents is important. and disobeying them will have effects as what in the bible says. been there many times, not good being there.
:)
Hi Ivan,
I must say, whether it is about a time of revelling over good food or a piece that sounds like your jugular is going to burst admonishing a teenager to the right paths, you stil write in good, and most of all entertaining style that keeps me coming back for more of your articles.
... my 2 cents worth of advice or ....ahem....not advice just talk - often when we think that young people should know better, they actually don't. just dun let our rising pressures burst our jugulars as there will always be more episodes to come and we need conserve our energy . They are growing and we are ever learning . But your boy is a lucky guy. cos you're his dad.
THank you so much, Emily & Ashley!
I really appreciate your frankness and your thoughts. I take heart that I still have to do my part as a parent and a friend to my son no matter what! Thanks a lot!
Hi Uncle Ivan, I dont know whether this is something good or bad for you but i will let you know anyway.
I wasnt the bestest of teenagers during my time and i never really understood my parents well.
However, as time goes on, things change and i realize how much my parents sacrificed for me and i would do anything for them in return.
I am sure that your son will realize this. In fact, i am definite of it. But you have to give him time to see it for himself. Forcing it onto him works on 10%. Actual realization works 150%.
Now comes the bad news: i realized all of this at the age of 24 :) Well, at least i realized, rite.
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