Unswallowable....

This morning, I felt as though as I was rudely awakened from my sleep. I felt as though someone yanked me out of bed today. Usually, the timer in my head would automatically ring in my head to remind me of the time where I would need to peel myself out of the bed and get ready for work. It's kinda disturbing,actually! But sorta getting myself prepared for something which is coming my way.

Anyway, as I get to work, I just plonked into my creaking chair in my cubicle. From then on, I slaved over the next few hours with a break for meal somewhere near my old place. Nothing uneventful happened until the arrival of a medium dark brown envelope prior to lunch.

Gosh, that arrival caused so much dissapointment in a lot of people and to me , personally. I tried playing it down but I can't lie about my own feelings. I am down and dissapointed but I really tried my best not to show it. I know that I should be thankful for what was in the brown envelope [ Trust me! I am really thankful ! ] but the contents is so frustrating. I guess, I really felt cheated, crushed and dissapointed. It's not so much for the work but it just goes to show how the worldly wickedly people actually works. Feed the rich to become richer and starve the poor so that they'll remain poor. All the jazz of we're one corporate family and what not is just hogwash and pure crap, as far as I am concerned.

For many years now, I've gone through this dissapointment feeling with no end at sight, actually while trying my best to help & encourage others along the way "to see the light at the end of the tunnel" but it's getting much tougher each year. Somehow, I really felt trapped inside - to voice out your dissapointment is virtually to seal your fate on the unemployment list while to keep it all inside , it will eat you up gradually eventually which may cause a volcanic reaction!

Somehow, I just needed to voice it out; just to ease my little frustrated feeling! I'll be okay after this binge of geting my frustration out!

But the fact remains, the contents of the brown envelope was just unswallowable!~